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Array
(
[sid] => 157424
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => poem 32
[time] => 2010-02-10 17:19:34
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => There is a hole, A hole where my heart used to be. It hurts so much, Hurts so much to breathe. I am so afraid, Afraid to break down and feel the pain. Because if I do, I know I will give in. Give in to my craving to cut. So afraid I will not stop. True love left, My soulmate left and I became this. Nothing more then an empty shell once again. I am so afraid to let myself feel the pain, Because I know what I am capable of. I feel so many things, None of them good. Shattered. Hollow. Empty. Nothing. I cannot think, Do not want to think about it. The pain is too much to deal with right now. So much that I HAVE to shut down and pretend, Pretend it does not bother me. I have to be strong, Even though I feel so dead inside. I cannot breathe anymore because my heart is gone, And my soul in in tatters. Everything shatters and falls dead at my feet. Will I ever love again? Possibly not. I do not want to let anyone in anymore. So tired of being broken, Tossed aside, Used. I will just let them have my body, For that is all that is left anymore. I will be the one thing I was meant for: A pleasure toy. Something to play with until they grow bored and toss me away. I feel dead inside... Maybe I am dead... Or better off dead. Who knows anymore... [comments] => 1 [counter] => 157 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Lady_Ravyn_Bloodstone [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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