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Array ( [sid] => 156030 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The day gently breathed [time] => 2009-12-17 18:28:04 [hometext] => [bodytext] => The day rose upwards from the ground, like a breath,
As amber leafed breeze blew softly by our sides.
We stood centered, resting upon one another, in a lonely, fading field,
And without words we began to speak

And the soft, sad sun, told us not to worry,
No matter what.
And so we didn’t.
And for an ephemeral moment, we weren’t anywhere
But we were together, and the day gently breathed

And as the day sunk back down and buried itself into the earth,
And let the moon loose to cool the sky with blue,
We remembered that together,
We did not have to worry.

[comments] => 4 [counter] => 237 [topic] => 24 [informant] => charliec13 [notes] => Edited per request in Poem Edit and Deletion Requests Moderator_18 Dec 20, 2009 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 19 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LoveRemembered )

The day gently breathed

Contributed by charliec13 on Thursday, 17th December 2009 @ 06:28:04 PM in AEST
Topic: LoveRemembered

The day rose upwards from the ground, like a breath,
As amber leafed breeze blew softly by our sides.
We stood centered, resting upon one another, in a lonely, fading field,
And without words we began to speak

And the soft, sad sun, told us not to worry,
No matter what.
And so we didn’t.
And for an ephemeral moment, we weren’t anywhere
But we were together, and the day gently breathed

And as the day sunk back down and buried itself into the earth,
And let the moon loose to cool the sky with blue,
We remembered that together,
We did not have to worry.

Copyright Â© charliec13 ... [ 2009-12-17 18:28:04]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The day gently breathed (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Thursday, 17th December 2009 @ 10:59:59 PM AEST
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My kind of poetry, lovely work.

Michelle

Re: The day gently breathed (User Rating: 1 )
by Fuzzy on Friday, 18th December 2009 @ 06:19:41 AM AEST
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Lovely well written.

Take care.

Re: The day gently breathed (User Rating: 1 )
by Jimmy_Harlequin on Friday, 18th December 2009 @ 11:58:46 AM AEST
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this is really good

i know i would feel the same if i lost my girlfriend at the moment.

i feel you captured that strange surrealness of a memory really well and i really think i know how you feel, even though i haven't felt these feelings in a long time.

twas beautiful

Re: The day gently breathed (User Rating: 1 )
by charliec13 on Friday, 18th December 2009 @ 04:23:14 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Thanks for the feeback guys, you're all really nice. Having read over it a few times I noticed few punctuation mistakes I've made, but not to worry. Any more feedback would be much appreciated!

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