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Array ( [sid] => 154176 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I wish upon a star so bright [time] => 2009-10-17 15:29:08 [hometext] => Read it, please. and comment. I'll gladly return the favor. [bodytext] => At night my tennis shoes would slap along the
sidewalk, always falling to a stop to pick the
white fluff of dandelions to be—I would take a
great gulp of air and
blow with all my childhood might and then
I would close my eyes and wish for
all the things I thought would make you
happy—a handsome man to appear on the
doorstep, or a treasure
chest—and then I would smile and look
up into the dark sky where stars were
only just beginning to
appear, and I would pick the
first one that caught my eye and whisper
the same wish as
before.
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 241 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Live2Die [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

I wish upon a star so bright

Contributed by Live2Die on Saturday, 17th October 2009 @ 03:29:08 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

At night my tennis shoes would slap along the
sidewalk, always falling to a stop to pick the
white fluff of dandelions to be—I would take a
great gulp of air and
blow with all my childhood might and then
I would close my eyes and wish for
all the things I thought would make you
happy—a handsome man to appear on the
doorstep, or a treasure
chest—and then I would smile and look
up into the dark sky where stars were
only just beginning to
appear, and I would pick the
first one that caught my eye and whisper
the same wish as
before.

Copyright Â© Live2Die ... [ 2009-10-17 15:29:08]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I wish upon a star so bright (User Rating: 1 )
by deadwriter on Saturday, 17th October 2009 @ 06:05:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is very good. Simple, kind acts that are so powerful.

Looking forward to more.

Deadwriter

Re: I wish upon a star so bright (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Saturday, 17th October 2009 @ 07:44:40 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Very creative write.
smiles, blessings,
emy

Re: I wish upon a star so bright (User Rating: 1 )
by Mars on Saturday, 17th October 2009 @ 09:31:05 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I can't seem to find a reason why you chose to break up your lines the way you did. It appears as if it could be written as only a sentence or two, but that's not a bad thing, just notable (I do that often). It's an interesting work, good -- not bad at all.

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