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Array
(
[sid] => 151266
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => body: without a face
[time] => 2009-07-03 16:38:54
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I wear a mask , just like he did. day after day, I try and find a way to picture him. I can't. its impossible, my eyes were blurry, my throat is sore. he pulled me back as I reached the door. too strong for me to push off. there's a swish like movement if it touched me I most certainly didn't feel it, till yesterday. I stay laid in my bed, can't eat , never wanna sleep again. cuz when I close my eyes it's just a body. nothing more that I can remember. and why is this? never knew myself to be a tempter unless I wanted it, but I didn't. they wonder why I'm quiet, wonder why I stay mad at them, wonder why I wasn't present for their birthday party, yet the question that stays in my head is what are friends? why do we call friends, friends? why weren't my friends there for me? she says she was with her supposed love, but how can this be a friendship w/o love. he says he couldn't comprehend what was happening, where I was, who I was with. he was mad at me for acting all crazy, for laughing with another, but why leave me? did you not put this in my drink? trying & trying harder & harder everyday to remember the face . I can't. its impossible. my eyes were blurry, my throat is sore. where is this being who has ruined this day for me, a full house and no one decided to take a cup from me. I try to avoid blinking, any site of it makes me sick. I'm crying, asking why it had to be me. show your face so I can be free. I need to get out of here. can't take this any longer, I can never call another a friend, never will I accept being someone's friend. there's no point. you can never truly trust someone with your life, let alone your dignity. I say sorry to whoever for whatever I've done. I never meant for this happen, it just did. leave me alone and stop calling yourself my friend. I think about the others in what's left of my life. I don't blame you for not being able to understand. but it is hard when you can not trust someone, but how can I, when the ones I did have, left me in the dust. to be blown away in the harshness of the real world. can you see that in my heart there's a evil secret that tears me apart, night and day. is it not written on my face, that all I can do is sit here and try and picture that face that wont haunt me till the end of ma days, cuz its blank. its just a body, nothing more that I can remember. he wears a mask, a pink one I believe. pink shows I was a fool. and seriously my next thought is the pool. should I open my eyes under water? maybe that'll help me remember. maybe I should never open my eyes if so, I believe ill cry, I cry because what else can I do. I'm stuck. lmao I guess that's just my luck, lucky me, haha lucky miiwee, I shall call myself. only its just the opposite. don't know what else I can see being that I stay laid in my bed, day after day, wondering where the ***** is his face.
[comments] => 0
[counter] => 146
[topic] => 48
[informant] => whereisthelove
[notes] => Corrected spelling as requested. Moderator_18
Exception, left word cuz as poet preference for slang.
July 4, 2009
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 0
[associated] =>
[topicname] => EmotionalPoetry
)
|
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