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If I Could
Contributed by
Everlasting_Flame
on
Wednesday, 10th June 2009 @ 01:43:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
If I could cut myself I would,
But I know it solves nothing.
In my mind I see the blood,
Flowing gently down my arm.
Only hoping to stop the pain,
But nothing...
If I could I would hurt someone,
Pointless violence just to feel better.
My fists punching them,
Just to make them hurt,
Hurt like me. It solves nothing...
I would kill myself if I could,
To stop the pictures of her from going through my brain.
The white floor dyed crimson,
Gave it all to you,
And I would lose it all.
If only I could...
Copyright ©
Everlasting_Flame
... [
2009-06-10 13:43:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: If I Could
(User Rating: 1 )
by Theatrelife on
Wednesday, 10th June 2009 @ 02:53:43 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| If i were you in the 5th stanza line one i would change it to "If i could kill myself, I would". Only because the repetition would be much more pleasing to the eye and the brain. The whole poem would stick more. |
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Re: If I Could
(User Rating: 1 )
by hoist1atca on
Wednesday, 10th June 2009 @ 11:26:18 PM AEST
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Verry well written-
The pain of the heart is strong yet is outweighed by the love inside that special place-
It's good to see that you hold on to the love and put asside the pain-
Bravo-
Joe
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Re: If I Could
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 16th October 2009 @ 04:18:06 PM AEST
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Very powerful, emotional stuff.
-Phil |
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