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~The Light~
Contributed by
shelby
on
Thursday, 4th June 2009 @ 01:42:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The moments folded within a dream
running free to places unseen
a darkened trail but the light was there
though she was unaware.
Little road skirting near the evergreen
mossy rocks little streams.
Dark woods almost forlorn
earth shatters with a woman scorned.
Woodland sounds, wide eyed owl
the crow follows her close.
A story unfolding before her eyes
but seperate to lifes disguise.
She swiftly shifts between here and there
a dream or a life within her worlds of care.
A fork in the path, her chest grows tight,
The voice that whispers,"walk to the light".
to be continued......................
Copyright ©
shelby
... [
2009-06-04 13:42:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ~The Light~
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Thursday, 4th June 2009 @ 02:00:58 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| hey, this grabbed my full attention. . . can't wait to read more. peace. elle |
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Re: ~The Light~
(User Rating: 1 )
by jesusofholland on
Thursday, 4th June 2009 @ 02:55:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh wow. I love this! The story is enchanting, yet foreboding. It almost reminds me of Alice in Wonderland. I really like the way you've written pauses into the verses, and even though you can't see them, the line commands you to take them. Mossy rocks...little streams. Lovely shelby, and I can't wait for the next part. Could this be an epic?
Ryan |
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Re: ~The Light~
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 6th June 2009 @ 10:17:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Cool girlfriend.
Waiting for the rest.
huggs, blessings,
emy |
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Re: ~The Light~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Derrewyn on
Sunday, 7th June 2009 @ 02:11:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| very nicely done. I can't wait for more. |
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Re: ~The Light~
(User Rating: 1 )
by windowguy on
Tuesday, 16th June 2009 @ 09:43:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| A fascinating, intriguing poem. Great read. |
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