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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 14:30:36 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 150282
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Drowing in Sorrow in which I will never escape
[time] => 2009-05-29 17:29:07
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Okay... It's in front of my face, but I'm hesitant to grasp and comprehend in why I can't just get up and do it, but to restrain myself, from either making a mistake, or doing something that I won't regret. No ones perfect though, I can't force myself to do something I want to do, but don't want to, if that makes any sense what so ever. These past months, and just thinking of what I want are extremely clear, though, all of you are woundering what i'm talking about... I won't be able to tell you... unless you figure it out by your selfs of course. This thing was never ment to last... well for me, but knowing that there are things in life that I can control... It makes my happy, and satisfied that I can have another chance at being truly happy, and eventually, being my old self again. There are problems in my life that I really need to fix, or in this case, repair, though there will always be a hole filled with sorrow, misery...etc these things I'm drowning in, losing control of myself, and evetually to the point, I lose a friend... though I try not to let this get in the way of being happy when I uncover this mystery of uncertainty that has been bestowed in my life, like some kind of sick joke. Oh well, you deal with what you get, you get what you deal with, bad karma or good karma, a vicious circle, which I may or may not ever escape. Heres the thing, I'm still looking and watching for the right time, but always thinking about how its never right, not good enough, or not to standards... a plague that my mind has received, and has accepted without thinking of the fact that, this will tear me down, an agony of disgust. I have now been beat down by my thoughts, that have been racing through my head, everyday, over and over again, yes... the same thoughts, that make me insanly pathetic, to were I cry, just of the thoughts... I never want to think of them again, but yet I have no strength to get rid of the thouhts. When I'm blessed with what I want, to my needs, I will be happy and back to my old self... Always wanted to be my old self again. The sad little emo boy that no one notices CAJ [comments] => 1 [counter] => 151 [topic] => 48 [informant] => CAJ [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 11 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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