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Array ( [sid] => 150268 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The River (Sestina) [time] => 2009-05-29 11:41:27 [hometext] => [bodytext] => A complex route from the city,
In a brand new pair of slacks.
All I can feel is freedom,
And the warmth of love.
The thing that I avoid is pain,
As I slowly cross the river.

It is long and winding, the river.
This environment seems so unlike the city.
This place isn’t filled with pain.
It’s me and my new slacks,
My new, found love.
My new, found freedom.

This is an intense freedom,
Almost as intense as the deep azure river.
This feeling is pumping through my veins, love.
I feel far and distant from the cramped city.
My tweed khaki slacks,
Will never wish me pain.

The river is slow and constant, unlike my former pain.
But the pain isn’t what I have, what I have is freedom.
I can feel the cool breeze travel through my slacks,
As I skip stones on the smooth river.
I’ve always hated the city,
All I feel for this new lush wilderness is love.

The animals are filled with love,
They aren’t filled with pain.
They would feel different if they were in the gray city.
The wilderness offers them their freedom.
I watch as they hop and gallop across the river.
I laugh to myself in my brand new slacks.

I feel so light in my slacks,
I can’t believe this new feeling of love.
It is all because of this deep, frigid river,
Far away from the pain,
And so close to the freedom.
I’ve always hated the city.

The city is not one of love,
My slacks don’t bring back the pain,
My freedom is unleashed as I step into the river. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 162 [topic] => 43 [informant] => rachelhogan [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 19 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
The River (Sestina)

Contributed by rachelhogan on Friday, 29th May 2009 @ 11:41:27 AM in AEST
Topic: oops



A complex route from the city,
In a brand new pair of slacks.
All I can feel is freedom,
And the warmth of love.
The thing that I avoid is pain,
As I slowly cross the river.

It is long and winding, the river.
This environment seems so unlike the city.
This place isn’t filled with pain.
It’s me and my new slacks,
My new, found love.
My new, found freedom.

This is an intense freedom,
Almost as intense as the deep azure river.
This feeling is pumping through my veins, love.
I feel far and distant from the cramped city.
My tweed khaki slacks,
Will never wish me pain.

The river is slow and constant, unlike my former pain.
But the pain isn’t what I have, what I have is freedom.
I can feel the cool breeze travel through my slacks,
As I skip stones on the smooth river.
I’ve always hated the city,
All I feel for this new lush wilderness is love.

The animals are filled with love,
They aren’t filled with pain.
They would feel different if they were in the gray city.
The wilderness offers them their freedom.
I watch as they hop and gallop across the river.
I laugh to myself in my brand new slacks.

I feel so light in my slacks,
I can’t believe this new feeling of love.
It is all because of this deep, frigid river,
Far away from the pain,
And so close to the freedom.
I’ve always hated the city.

The city is not one of love,
My slacks don’t bring back the pain,
My freedom is unleashed as I step into the river.




Copyright © rachelhogan ... [ 2009-05-29 11:41:27]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: The River (Sestina) (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Friday, 29th May 2009 @ 12:14:37 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
You did this well, it flowed and it a delight to read. Thanks for sharing this, it is rare I see anyone write in this style, I myself think its a fun way to write and mix things up some.

Loved it
Michelle


Re: The River (Sestina) (User Rating: 1 )
by TeRrahiel on Friday, 29th May 2009 @ 12:50:09 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
It's very nice. I like very much this idea of escaping from the city:)


Re: The River (Sestina) (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 29th May 2009 @ 04:45:58 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
this is truly exceptional. The Sestina is a tough nut to crack, but you did it with aplomb. i always like to see different types of poetry, and this fully quenched my intrigue. superb!

-Phil


Re: The River (Sestina) (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 29th May 2009 @ 08:03:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Even though I'm wearing brown shorts, I still found this absolutely brilliantand a pure joy to read!

Thank you,

Tim




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