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Array
(
[sid] => 149627
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => List Of Tangible Incentives To Mass Murder
[time] => 2009-05-04 02:12:01
[hometext] => absurdity is transcendental, goddammit!
[bodytext] => Massacre in Alabama. We enjoy baseball and David is going to let me borrow a cup of water if I promise not to tell anyone where he got it from. Develop An Idea And Then Start Screaming It's possible that these delusions are caused by a lack of sleep or maybe science is developing faster than the rate at which you perceive patterns. At any rate, clothes are practical. Think back to your earliest childhood memory and then draw a picture of turkey. Do not trace your fingers. People Can Not See Through Tongues Imagine I was a steamboat captain and you had more pies than you could reasonably carry. OK. Now Imagine we are distant cousins, it's more than likely you no longer identify as an atheist. Pablo Picasso was a fraud. I'm not making this up. I'm dictating this, to porcupines. Lapsing into a coma. Stars are forming ellipses. I am like a drowning polar bear. What the *****? If aliens are angry at you and they want you stop, it is your sole responsibility to tell them you plan on continuing this until you discover you are no longer conscious. "This is not a good way to make friends", said a visiting relative. Split personalities are a myth, like when they say depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. Bull*****. That chemical imbalance is directly caused by you being a pussy. You control all those chemicals subconsciously, that's what thinking is, dip*****. Underwater terminations like some kind of cyber Cthulu. How about the two of us take a step outside? How about the three of us go somewhere private? How about the four of us take a bath? How about the five of us blow up the embassy for the United Arab Emirates? How about the six of us watch Eastbound And Down? How about the seven us start a death cult? How about the eight of us invent sodium? How about the nine of us shut the ***** up? Dog. Howard. Pineapple. Elizabeth. Cruise. Speech. Lake. Undulate. Cuttlefish. Telegram. Elephant. Eastwood. Traumatized. Confusing. If you're still reading this, you're probably like, "What?" So let me explain. A lake is only as big as it's anus. Parrots know everything. My pants are self-aware. "Dimension" is a made-up word. Baseball is dumb. Massacre in Alabama [comments] => 0 [counter] => 144 [topic] => 7 [informant] => Wakingdream [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 1 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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