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Array
(
[sid] => 149423
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I Lost You
[time] => 2009-04-26 16:21:18
[hometext] => This is about the miscarriage I had in March. I'm only 16, so everyone seems to think that makes it hurt less. Probably more rambling than a poem, but oh well,I guess. I haven't wrote in a long time.
[bodytext] => I lost you - And everyday I wonder what I could have done differently. I lost you - And I wonder if it was my mistake. I created you, and somehow, I let you down. Forming potential, dead and gone. It hurts to know no one else cares to remember; Everyone else sees your death as a blessing, Everyone except for me. I wonder what you would have looked like, and how you would have been. Would I have been a good mommy? Would I have given you the life you deserved? No one believed in me, but I know no one would - or could- love you as much I already did. It's crazy, right? To love someone you've never even truly met. They can't see how much you meant to me. And how it killed me to lie on that hospital bed knowing you were gone, knowing they simply discarded you. But you were my baby and I lost you. I'm going insane, baby, remembering you. And every day, I wish that I could go too. But your daddy's the one keeping me here, I know it would hurt him if I left. I just wonder sometimes, could I find you somewhere? Somewhere beyond the realm of life? I would give anything to have you, anything to hold you. I've lost you, my baby, But know that I've always loved you. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 216 [topic] => 39 [informant] => alexischeyenne [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )
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