Your Poetry Dot Com

Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!

Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+

Custom Search


Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	29-May 17:32:40 AEST

Menu

· Our eBay Store

· Error Submit

Poetry

· Submit Poetry

· Least Read Poems

· Members Listing

· Old Site Post 2001

· Old Site Pre 2001

· Poetry Archive

· Public Domain Poetry

Stories

· Stories (NEW ! )

· Submit Story

· Story Topics

· Stories Archive

· Story Search

Community

· Our Poetry Forums

· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

Site Help

· FAQ

· Feedback

Members Areas

· Your Account

· Members Journals

· Premium Sign-Up

Premium Section

· Special Section

· Premium Poems

· Premium Submit

· Premium Search

· Premium Archive

· Premium Topics

Fun & Games

· Jokes

· Bubble Puzzle

· Cross Word Easy

· Word Hunt

Reference

· Dictionary (Rhyming)

· Site Updates

· Special Content

Search

Top

Help This Site

· Donations

Others

· Moderators

Our Other Sites

· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

Social

Array ( [sid] => 149125 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Aries Descending [time] => 2009-04-14 03:45:25 [hometext] => I prefer serious critique to freebie compliments. If that's allowed. I wrote this on my 16th birthday, in 2001. At the time I was quite proud of it. [bodytext] => I asked,

“Who are you?
and who
am I?”

but you refused to answer.

I asked because
I wondered if maybe
you were her-

but you were only a ghost
who came and vanished,
and vanished,
and vanished,

and told me that
you were dying.

I told you that
you couldn’t die…you were
too real.

But I let go of you
and you did…
die.

I didn’t even realize
that you were dying.

You were like a baby robin
fallen from her mother’s nest…
like a tiny sailboat
being tossed upon the seas…

and then
you were gone.

[comments] => 2 [counter] => 227 [topic] => 22 [informant] => 3660days [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 6 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

Aries Descending

Contributed by 3660days on Tuesday, 14th April 2009 @ 03:45:25 AM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

I asked,

“Who are you?
and who
am I?”

but you refused to answer.

I asked because
I wondered if maybe
you were her-

but you were only a ghost
who came and vanished,
and vanished,
and vanished,

and told me that
you were dying.

I told you that
you couldn’t die…you were
too real.

But I let go of you
and you did…
die.

I didn’t even realize
that you were dying.

You were like a baby robin
fallen from her mother’s nest…
like a tiny sailboat
being tossed upon the seas…

and then
you were gone.

Copyright Â© 3660days ... [ 2009-04-14 03:45:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)

Advertisments:

Previous Posted Poem | | Next Posted Poem

Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more

All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.

Re: Aries Descending (User Rating: 1 )
by zenith66 on Tuesday, 14th April 2009 @ 04:42:58 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I did like this poem, it was defiantly an interesting read and especially the second last verse was very good, the comparisons you made were solid and colorful, i must admit though, even though i like the story you told i just wasn't gripped, i wasn't at the edge of my seat. perhaps i prefer faster poems, I'm not sure but u just didn't feel compelled to continue reading, but thats just me man, take it with a grain of salt and keep on writing because your potential is obvious!!

keep it up!!

Re: Aries Descending (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 14th April 2009 @ 10:59:32 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i liked it, i think it had a nice flow to it and i liked the penultimate stanza, with it's poignant imagery. good work.

-Phil

While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. Â©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright Â© to their submitter. All the rest Copyright Â© 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com