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Array ( [sid] => 149092 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Little River [time] => 2009-04-12 23:50:02 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Why hurry little river?
Off to the sea
All there to do, tis' sink in blue
And all forgotten be

Stay right here with me
In the pasture and the mead
Where graceful maples rest
And grazing cattle feed

O' my melacholy river
Fed by lazy, winding streams
Slow down thy hurried pace
Linger in my woodland dreams

Little river rest awhile
Your banks so clean and fair
Let wild Toms edge out a drink
On their wing and prayer

Your weeping willows haven
Bluebirds sleeping in their nest
Brittle branches sway and swerve
Steadfast they stand the test

My little river that goes to and fro
You wander as if a need to know
In Southern air, facing snow's embrace
Run fast or slow, you've won the race

So, why hurry little river?
Trickling off to ocean's sea
All to do, forget the blue
And stay right here with me
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 200 [topic] => 27 [informant] => countrydoc1015 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => NaturePoetry )

Little River

Contributed by countrydoc1015 on Sunday, 12th April 2009 @ 11:50:02 PM in AEST
Topic: NaturePoetry

Why hurry little river?
Off to the sea
All there to do, tis' sink in blue
And all forgotten be

Stay right here with me
In the pasture and the mead
Where graceful maples rest
And grazing cattle feed

O' my melacholy river
Fed by lazy, winding streams
Slow down thy hurried pace
Linger in my woodland dreams

Little river rest awhile
Your banks so clean and fair
Let wild Toms edge out a drink
On their wing and prayer

Your weeping willows haven
Bluebirds sleeping in their nest
Brittle branches sway and swerve
Steadfast they stand the test

My little river that goes to and fro
You wander as if a need to know
In Southern air, facing snow's embrace
Run fast or slow, you've won the race

So, why hurry little river?
Trickling off to ocean's sea
All to do, forget the blue
And stay right here with me

Copyright © countrydoc1015 ... [ 2009-04-12 23:50:02]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Little River (User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on Monday, 13th April 2009 @ 11:07:00 AM AEST
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Some rhymes felt "forced" and some lines felt choppy, I like the concept, and stanza 2 is fairly good. Some parts felt repetative. I think you could prune this a little and have something really usable.

Re: Little River (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Monday, 13th April 2009 @ 06:11:50 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I enjoyed this very much. I loved the concept....
Jenni

Re: Little River (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 14th April 2009 @ 07:15:56 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I love the imagery of your poem and can feel your deep sense of place.

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