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Array
(
[sid] => 148998
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => it cannot be
[time] => 2009-04-08 22:10:46
[hometext] => I told him I loved him, he's gay, he's my best friend
[bodytext] => I hear those words They're pounding in my ears I can't believe I spoke them To you Your face is confused My face is bright red It cannot be You said that to me I felt the tears come Though they did not fall I knew it was coming I had braced myself But now I feel numb My best friend That's what you were Gay That's what you are How stupid I feel Thinking, hoping, maybe it could be Now you avoid that topic And half of me is happy But the other is depressed I still smile to you We still laugh and chat But there's a sort of wall Sitting between us Taunting me How could I have done this To myself? To you? The words still ring clear It cannot be My heart breaks again Every time my mind replays them Yet I cannot stop them I still haven't cried I can't bring myself to cry This is my fault I brought it upon myself It cannot be, I knew that But something inside told me to take a chance To take a risk And now I stand Hiding in the shadows of my room That sad song playing on a loop I cannot cry I want to cry But the tears do not form They do not fall Something in me is broken I cannot eat I only sit and stare You text me, you call me You act like nothing happened But yet my heart cannot forget the words It cannot be I try to forget Try to move on But something in me keeps me somber Keeps me sad Force a smile just for you Force a laugh and act unbroken Can you see through the mask? My heart is heavy with the unshed tears I will keep on smiling Just for you Through the pain, through the sadness I'll smile only for you Even though deep inside I know It cannot be [comments] => 3 [counter] => 250 [topic] => 32 [informant] => DesolantDreamer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
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