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Array ( [sid] => 148535 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Better In This Lonlness [time] => 2009-03-16 21:48:37 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I'll not ever know
why your heart turned;
why that door closed.

I'll not know if it was cruelty
or my own frailties.

But even if I knew
it was you
then
how could I reform
you?

Could I convince you that
you and I were best
and that she was
at best
manipulative
and in time
would
take that same heart
that shunned me
and rip it
out and hand it back to you?

How can I predict this
and even if true
would my own anger
accept you back
for you
or only if I did
it would be
an empty victory lap

and not you
I'd want.

If you were in fact not right for me
for whatever reasons there might be
I was right for you only in retrospect

since she had
lain in your bed
she had changed the you
I used to know
into the you
she'd hurt
and that is not the you
I'd want.

In all of this I am the me
I'd always been
the me I love best.

Hurt and harmed
heart-broken
and trembling
I 'm probably a better me
that you are a better you.

Much to ponder here
even
in this lonliness. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 168 [topic] => 43 [informant] => lnnie [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Better In This Lonlness

Contributed by lnnie on Monday, 16th March 2009 @ 09:48:37 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

I'll not ever know
why your heart turned;
why that door closed.

I'll not know if it was cruelty
or my own frailties.

But even if I knew
it was you
then
how could I reform
you?

Could I convince you that
you and I were best
and that she was
at best
manipulative
and in time
would
take that same heart
that shunned me
and rip it
out and hand it back to you?

How can I predict this
and even if true
would my own anger
accept you back
for you
or only if I did
it would be
an empty victory lap

and not you
I'd want.

If you were in fact not right for me
for whatever reasons there might be
I was right for you only in retrospect

since she had
lain in your bed
she had changed the you
I used to know
into the you
she'd hurt
and that is not the you
I'd want.

In all of this I am the me
I'd always been
the me I love best.

Hurt and harmed
heart-broken
and trembling
I 'm probably a better me
that you are a better you.

Much to ponder here
even
in this lonliness.

Copyright © lnnie ... [ 2009-03-16 21:48:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Better In This Lonlness (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 17th March 2009 @ 01:06:29 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

an interesting piece. very emotive and clear. i liked it.

-phil

Re: Better In This Lonlness (User Rating: 1 )
by kye on Tuesday, 17th March 2009 @ 03:48:37 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I wish I could hug you Innie. I truly do.

Their was something in your poem that impressed me so much---

"Hurt and harmed
heart-broken
and trembling
I 'm probably a better me"

It is hard to keep oneself in tact during a lonely heartbreaking time. It seems you have.

Thank you for sharing this will all of us.

Kie

Re: Better In This Lonlness (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 7th April 2009 @ 11:28:16 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Even in your pain you are oh so creative and I find that simply astounding.

This one had me tearing up with that ol' lump in my throat while simultaneously impressing me with your gift of creative writing.

I hope things have or will get better for you.

Thank you sharing this with the rest of us.

Tim

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