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Array ( [sid] => 148368 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Over-Heard Conversations at Parties [time] => 2009-03-07 23:20:00 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I not really fat' he said
'I am anorexic,
just not very good at it.'

'I can't keep a girl friend
I am too, uh, big down there
they say it hurts.'

'I didn't say I loved you
I said I often think of you.
That's what I said.'

'I have to give up drugs
I am hallucinating
the girl of my dreams.'

So I told her it was ok
she could sleep with him
but she would have to pay
for that pair of shoes
we saw at Nordstrum's.'

'So my Dad says
All I am asking for
is a Some Sex Marriage.'

So he says he is not gay
he just likes men.

I thew up on him
and he was so sweet
he wiped it off
and I tipped him a dollar.

And then I found out
that the tattoo
he put on my butt
was his ex-girl friend.

Girl, he is ugly
no way around the facts
unless you saying
he is packing.

She stood there
and let all the men
get a good look
at her cleavage.
How can you compete
with that?

I don't really read books
and stuff like that
takes too long.

I told him he never
listens to me
and he said
'What? '

I don't know,
the honey moon
was a disaster
we made love
for only about five hours
and he started complaining
about his back.

What's your name again?

You got a girlfriend?
Yes, she said.

So he heard us making love
on the answering machine
the thing was on room monitor.

I told him the baby was his.

Couldn't sleep at all last night
Vibrator ran out of batteries.

So he said
'You are bleeding
is that normal?
'Normal' I said
Bleeding?
And then I passed out.

Well he is very tall,
got big feet,
a big nose.
and bedroom eyes
All the things I need right now.

I had to set him free.
Hard to be with a man
prettier than you.


I hate these parties
and the food is bad.
Don't know why I come. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 179 [topic] => 43 [informant] => lnnie [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
Over-Heard Conversations at Parties

Contributed by lnnie on Saturday, 7th March 2009 @ 11:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic: oops



I not really fat' he said
'I am anorexic,
just not very good at it.'

'I can't keep a girl friend
I am too, uh, big down there
they say it hurts.'

'I didn't say I loved you
I said I often think of you.
That's what I said.'

'I have to give up drugs
I am hallucinating
the girl of my dreams.'

So I told her it was ok
she could sleep with him
but she would have to pay
for that pair of shoes
we saw at Nordstrum's.'

'So my Dad says
All I am asking for
is a Some Sex Marriage.'

So he says he is not gay
he just likes men.

I thew up on him
and he was so sweet
he wiped it off
and I tipped him a dollar.

And then I found out
that the tattoo
he put on my butt
was his ex-girl friend.

Girl, he is ugly
no way around the facts
unless you saying
he is packing.

She stood there
and let all the men
get a good look
at her cleavage.
How can you compete
with that?

I don't really read books
and stuff like that
takes too long.

I told him he never
listens to me
and he said
'What? '

I don't know,
the honey moon
was a disaster
we made love
for only about five hours
and he started complaining
about his back.

What's your name again?

You got a girlfriend?
Yes, she said.

So he heard us making love
on the answering machine
the thing was on room monitor.

I told him the baby was his.

Couldn't sleep at all last night
Vibrator ran out of batteries.

So he said
'You are bleeding
is that normal?
'Normal' I said
Bleeding?
And then I passed out.

Well he is very tall,
got big feet,
a big nose.
and bedroom eyes
All the things I need right now.

I had to set him free.
Hard to be with a man
prettier than you.


I hate these parties
and the food is bad.
Don't know why I come.




Copyright © lnnie ... [ 2009-03-07 23:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Over-Heard Conversations at Parties (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 8th March 2009 @ 12:39:14 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
You really had me going till I reread the title.
Great job.
Huggs, smiles, blessings,
emy


Re: Over-Heard Conversations at Parties (User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on Monday, 9th March 2009 @ 05:53:50 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Cracking good voy-ear-ism ( yes its copyrighted so you can't use it). What people say is bizarre,shallow, self-centred, selfish and obtuse, but I guess you laugh so you don't scream.

my favourites - the bad anorexic and the desperate dad. Hilarious!

Spike





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