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Array ( [sid] => 148082 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Moonlight Cadence [time] => 2009-02-20 20:51:10 [hometext] => It has been several years since I have written anything. I would appreciate any critiques. ~Kie~ the old one [bodytext] => Winter’s snow has fallen
silencing the air
crystalizing spearmint
to scent within my hair

With tears adjacent sniffles
cold without a care
Pairing tiny rivers
that lead to hidden lairs

Sun-time thoughts lie sleeping
veiled till mist of spring
Thus will lift the curtain
as birds begin to sing

A thought within a moonbeam
filtering the night
The cadence of the season
blanketed in white
[comments] => 10 [counter] => 396 [topic] => 27 [informant] => kye [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => NaturePoetry )

Moonlight Cadence

Contributed by kye on Friday, 20th February 2009 @ 08:51:10 PM in AEST
Topic: NaturePoetry

Winter’s snow has fallen
silencing the air
crystalizing spearmint
to scent within my hair

With tears adjacent sniffles
cold without a care
Pairing tiny rivers
that lead to hidden lairs

Sun-time thoughts lie sleeping
veiled till mist of spring
Thus will lift the curtain
as birds begin to sing

A thought within a moonbeam
filtering the night
The cadence of the season
blanketed in white

Copyright Â© kye ... [ 2009-02-20 20:51:10]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Friday, 20th February 2009 @ 09:03:19 PM AEST
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Not one to give critique but I would say that I have enjoyed this imensely.... The imagery left me with a feeling of peace and tranquillity.. Good to see you posting again.
Jenni

Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on Friday, 20th February 2009 @ 09:47:38 PM AEST
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It has been so long..I am happy to see you posting again..the imagery is very beautiful..
It really shines the beauty of a single moonbeam :-)venkat

Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 21st February 2009 @ 03:34:49 AM AEST
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Hmmmm.. critique huh? Something I rarely do. Keep up the god work? How is that?

This was so...so.... .... Jenni already said, it. It was so peaceful and the imagery so real.

Anyway, thank you for a very enjoyable read.

Tim

Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 21st February 2009 @ 04:30:02 AM AEST
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a beautiful flowing work with some great imagery. good work!

-phil

Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by Loende on Saturday, 21st February 2009 @ 08:21:52 PM AEST
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Well, you haven't lost the touch. This is a lilting piece that just flows off the tongue. Great come back. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Be well,
~Loende

Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by ShaonKra on Sunday, 22nd February 2009 @ 03:03:14 PM AEST
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Great, very good alliteration, rhythm and structure. Imagery is also very effective especially 'crystalizing spearmint to scent within my hair', like it

-ShaonKra-

Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by lnnie on Sunday, 22nd February 2009 @ 03:57:46 PM AEST
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hI kYE
Read the two poems I have seen and I am astounded
by the imagery and imagination within them.
Unusual use of word order, commenting on the scene
yet also moving above the scene.
Good stuff!

Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Friday, 13th March 2009 @ 10:06:39 PM AEST
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Wow kie,
this is beautiful. It melts the sting of Winter.
Welcome home, dear friend.
huggs, smiles, blessings,
emy

Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by elle on Sunday, 29th March 2009 @ 02:41:58 PM AEST
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these are lovely images that lend a feeling of serenity & peace to the winter season. lovely. elle

Re: Moonlight Cadence (User Rating: 1 )
by 2Deep4U on Friday, 17th April 2009 @ 08:02:44 PM AEST
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It seems senseless to critique someone on a higher lvl than me. I've noticed that the words ppl use to convay your vision speaks alot about you. I see many things when I read your poem.

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