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A letter to my true self
Contributed by
theeman
on
Saturday, 17th January 2009 @ 05:44:25 AM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
Away from my obsessions and my material greed
You stand watching my worldly deed.
I work towards the goal i must find
Set for a purpose the path undefined.
I am like a reflection of you in a tainted mirror
you observe and learn from my life's experiences and terror.
I am always moving but for you i am still
My actions are observed,an expression of free will.
The trials i endure are trivial for you
You stay with me but rarely give a clue
You are the perfection,I would become
Unfathomable for many,fathomable for some
I run on as time passes by against my will
For you time is one ,and everything is still
In you are the secrets of existence, I hope to find
I will see you within me, When the journey unwinds
Copyright ©
theeman
... [
2009-01-17 05:44:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A letter to my true self
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 18th January 2009 @ 06:13:57 PM AEST
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Interesting. I myself also have a sense of self which stands outside self, observing and (hopefully) taking lessons away from what my self encounters.
Question: in your truth seeking, do you read the Bible much, open-mindedly and without whatever dogmas you've probably been taught to associate with it?
Stylistically, you should place your commas better (always after the last word of the first clause, without a space, then a space, then the next clause. As I've just been doing there). Not at all badly written, though.
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