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Array ( [sid] => 146764 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Transylvanian Visions [time] => 2008-12-11 04:10:41 [hometext] => [bodytext] =>
Transylvanian Visions

Darklings out of Earth's grace,
The Whirler must find his own redemption
I stand by the podium
I watch your cheated parade,
Can we escape our conqueress?
The slave driven,
Sun chariot ridden
Of fate's Hyperion balustrade.

*

Die a little to live,
Face your fear
Gentleness & patience as to a child yourself give.
You'll always be alone / you'll always be an outsider,
We all are
There is no inside.
Remain true to your wants,
Accept & fulfil your needs,
Accept yourself & never abandon your truth.
To die & live & change & know your mind, your world.
This is the understanding here I've been given,
Now look & learn & listen.

*

You could give me a map or compass,
Blow wind to the banner or trumpet,
Could you ever give the subtle joy
Of the infant in the meadow,
The exultant senses he employs.

*

Nites of an evil face
Of self-betrayals
Fear upon my skin
Reflections in the mirror
Crawling drawling rippling sin.
Secret night's black drinks me in,
Liquid black,
A soaking sponge of madness dances in my eyes
Its crucifixion & terror
Bound and gashed
In an all-enveloping guise.
Too many faces
Eyes&lies
Drunken rooms of twisted graces.

*

Formulize where beauty is.
Quantify what mystery has.
Describe for me the sea's shark shadows
Or how this affinity, to man a parable endows.
See that satellite up there you pricks the
One shaped like a crucifix,
You're gonna be nailed to that I bet
In your techno-ratic excess.
Humming human distress,
Man hunters, children of numbers.

*

From beyond the forest I came,
It's a place we all come from.
Common all to everyone,
For that which beats in my heart,
Every heart,
(&) pumps through my veins,
All veins,
Always came from a Transylvania.
Each beat common, each force through
In time, rhythm and synthesis
Belongs not only to me, but before,
To after and somehow now.
Mesa Verde I built then died,
In Palmyra I played & spied,
At Ankor Wat skeletal grey & Lhasa upon snowy
Steps to mountain truth & serenity, I prayed.
Out of all rivers & jungles I came
Over deserts & lakes I rayned,
As much to Islam is Mecca to me,
Ascension & crucifixion,
Joy & humility.
In Dachau I kicked & was kicked,
As the blood, the spittle rose in my swelling mouth I
Laughed, maybe I cried.
When one walks or falls we all do.
The centre of our worlds we all turn to,
All, all swirl & chant
Yet all are lost in the rising fast & footfall dust.

*

Come out of your caves, down the vales away from the
Wild one, monster head, red blood sun. Away from the black-
Jaw'd rancorous city silhouette, away from the chaos we'll
Choose to forget. Run, across mechanic burnt plains broken
By dwellings & the sparse trees of our nature that we deny
An existence to, yet keep as our posted mark to an oblivion,
An intimation of the spiritual in the eyes of city beasts,
They dare not know again the salt, steam, blood that is beholden
To the pack, the fear of the pride, leave behind that twilight,
Come into the forests remember the burning eyes of green night,
The primal calls of more primitive beasts, turn from Lethe's tar
And towering grey Tartarus, run with the only thing you have
Your life,naked,unarmed & howling with gnashing teeth,beyond
Good,evil,nature,civilisation,embracing instinct self;
Smell feel the forest, thru the forest emerge reborn, then out
Of primordial, Proteus swamps, an Armageddon amongst the leeches and
Reptiles, moist dark and misty, reborne, spurning the former,
A kiss,
Immense fiery Erubus of your soul.
[comments] => 1 [counter] => 151 [topic] => 64 [informant] => incognito_bombastus [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ambiguous )

Transylvanian Visions

Contributed by incognito_bombastus on Thursday, 11th December 2008 @ 04:10:41 AM in AEST
Topic: ambiguous

Transylvanian Visions

Darklings out of Earth's grace,
The Whirler must find his own redemption
I stand by the podium
I watch your cheated parade,
Can we escape our conqueress?
The slave driven,
Sun chariot ridden
Of fate's Hyperion balustrade.

*

Die a little to live,
Face your fear
Gentleness & patience as to a child yourself give.
You'll always be alone / you'll always be an outsider,
We all are
There is no inside.
Remain true to your wants,
Accept & fulfil your needs,
Accept yourself & never abandon your truth.
To die & live & change & know your mind, your world.
This is the understanding here I've been given,
Now look & learn & listen.

*

You could give me a map or compass,
Blow wind to the banner or trumpet,
Could you ever give the subtle joy
Of the infant in the meadow,
The exultant senses he employs.

*

Nites of an evil face
Of self-betrayals
Fear upon my skin
Reflections in the mirror
Crawling drawling rippling sin.
Secret night's black drinks me in,
Liquid black,
A soaking sponge of madness dances in my eyes
Its crucifixion & terror
Bound and gashed
In an all-enveloping guise.
Too many faces
Eyes&lies
Drunken rooms of twisted graces.

*

Formulize where beauty is.
Quantify what mystery has.
Describe for me the sea's shark shadows
Or how this affinity, to man a parable endows.
See that satellite up there you pricks the
One shaped like a crucifix,
You're gonna be nailed to that I bet
In your techno-ratic excess.
Humming human distress,
Man hunters, children of numbers.

*

From beyond the forest I came,
It's a place we all come from.
Common all to everyone,
For that which beats in my heart,
Every heart,
(&) pumps through my veins,
All veins,
Always came from a Transylvania.
Each beat common, each force through
In time, rhythm and synthesis
Belongs not only to me, but before,
To after and somehow now.
Mesa Verde I built then died,
In Palmyra I played & spied,
At Ankor Wat skeletal grey & Lhasa upon snowy
Steps to mountain truth & serenity, I prayed.
Out of all rivers & jungles I came
Over deserts & lakes I rayned,
As much to Islam is Mecca to me,
Ascension & crucifixion,
Joy & humility.
In Dachau I kicked & was kicked,
As the blood, the spittle rose in my swelling mouth I
Laughed, maybe I cried.
When one walks or falls we all do.
The centre of our worlds we all turn to,
All, all swirl & chant
Yet all are lost in the rising fast & footfall dust.

*

Come out of your caves, down the vales away from the
Wild one, monster head, red blood sun. Away from the black-
Jaw'd rancorous city silhouette, away from the chaos we'll
Choose to forget. Run, across mechanic burnt plains broken
By dwellings & the sparse trees of our nature that we deny
An existence to, yet keep as our posted mark to an oblivion,
An intimation of the spiritual in the eyes of city beasts,
They dare not know again the salt, steam, blood that is beholden
To the pack, the fear of the pride, leave behind that twilight,
Come into the forests remember the burning eyes of green night,
The primal calls of more primitive beasts, turn from Lethe's tar
And towering grey Tartarus, run with the only thing you have
Your life,naked,unarmed & howling with gnashing teeth,beyond
Good,evil,nature,civilisation,embracing instinct self;
Smell feel the forest, thru the forest emerge reborn, then out
Of primordial, Proteus swamps, an Armageddon amongst the leeches and
Reptiles, moist dark and misty, reborne, spurning the former,
A kiss,
Immense fiery Erubus of your soul.

Copyright © incognito_bombastus ... [ 2008-12-11 04:10:41]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Transylvanian Visions (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 11th December 2008 @ 08:01:28 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

well i've never read anything like this before, if i'm honest. but i can pass comment on what i read. firstly, the opening stanza is the best of the lot, there is some wonderful language in there and it flows very well. i also enjpyed the penultimate stanza, the inclusion of places really helped the imagination run wild. throughout the piece there were some marvellous metaphors. the only negative i can come up with is that in some places i feel you have tried too hard to impress. you've bogged it down by elaborating too much on metaphors and using over-complex language. this is particularly evident in the last stanza. but this is only a minor thing really, the rest of the poem is pretty much spot on. i would give you 4/5.

-phil

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