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Caretaker
Contributed by
Eireannach
on
Monday, 24th November 2008 @ 04:13:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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She wanders hallways of my heart, straightening pictures off kilter
With tender hands and gentle touch, smoothing away apparent hurts
Shoring up weakened timbers, mending rafters in disrepair
Her voice chases the darkness, corners of discouragement’s abode
She shines the windows of my soul, and light floods every nook
Beside the fireplace she tends the fire that is our love
Logs of desire she constant adds amid the sparks of passion
The bed being made, waits for us as one
With warmth of devotion and intensity of spirit
My zealous caretaker, the lover of my heart
Knows this dwelling as no other, this is her child’s play
Joined with it, one with the true me, ever seeking, ever loving
She wanders hallways of my heart, straightening pictures off kilter
© 2008 O’ Raithbheartaigh
Copyright ©
Eireannach
... [
2008-11-24 16:13:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Caretaker
(User Rating: 1 ) by Loende on
Monday, 24th November 2008 @ 06:28:24 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Writers block...yeah...mine hit for a long time too. I'm glad that you've found the spring again. This is a touching piece that proves that true love never leaves us. It made me feel comforted, reminiscent, and in many ways a bit jealous. She doesn't wander the hallways of your heart, mo cara, she still lives. Wonderful poem.
Be well,
Loende |
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Re: Caretaker
(User Rating: 1 ) by RitalinKid on
Tuesday, 25th November 2008 @ 01:56:06 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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" My zealous caretaker, the lover of my heart "
The use of the word Zealous to describe a caretaker is brilliant. Caretaker paints a simple picture and bleeds of duty. Well done.
Of my heart also works better because it gives ownership to the piece's title.
I like this a lot. And I'm very pretentious = )
Take a look at my first piece, I like honesty. i just joined this site. Good Luck |
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