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Array
(
[sid] => 146294
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Victim and Convict of the same Homicide; Myself
[time] => 2008-11-13 06:46:18
[hometext] => Wrote this about a year ago while I was going thru a cocaine addiction
[bodytext] => I'm so tired of this sickness inside of me all it does is grab and eat the inside of me Tearing me apart heart and soul I just wanna feel warm but my path is cold I'm angry for the things I quit But I couldn't quit the one thing worth quitting I let my addiction cut up lines and worse myself I quit school because i was lost in the drug game For it I risked my life and gave my soul to making money and ensuring my stomach but especially my addiction was always full I gave my life to this game but instead of getting a trophy I got 2 black eyes brain damage and it left me in Chico to die in a hole Oh did i Mention what else I got from this friend? Loss of respect and a fatal cocaine addiction Every binge I get closer to the end How did I get this way it used to be Jesus but now Pablo Escobar is my best friend I had so much potential but it got just like me.. wasted Failure hurts when there is no way to win, but it kills when you have every way to be a victor and you're too worthless and strung out to just do it I don't wanna die but I'm tired of this ***** Waken up day to day realizing I have lived for 20 years and made nothing of it I'm tired of hating me it's like having a school bully living inside me constantly degrading me and kicking me into the dirt But I put on a smile crack a few jokes try to find a pill to pop or drug to smoke Cuz i convince myself thats the only way to cope Hopefully I can escape my self for hour or 2 let the drugs trick me into thinking I am doing what I wanna do So this roller coaster is the end for me I just know ill finally be able to sleep once I commit and lay in the ground 9 feet deep Feel years of pain or just one pull of the trigger? I got a 9mm I got 1 bullet I'm tired of my futile life its time for me to clutch that trigger and hope the world will remember me as someone stronger and bigger Bradley S. Barroso II [comments] => 2 [counter] => 154 [topic] => 36 [informant] => thebballer72 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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