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Saturday July 19, 2008
Contributed by
Chilli_Pepper
on
Sunday, 26th October 2008 @ 05:36:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
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When I first saw you I thought we were meant to be
But now that I look back I really didn't see.
She stole your heart and you stole mine
I guess you didn't know that stealing is a crime!
You put happiness to my day,
I wanted yours to be the same way!
But I guess making you happy wasn't enough
Because Saturday was the day you made my life rough
You went back to the hurt and the pain
And you left me all alone to go INSANE!
I have no choice but to accept the fact that you chose her over me,
My eyes are opened and now I see!
Copyright ©
Chilli_Pepper
... [
2008-10-26 17:36:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Saturday July 19, 2008
(User Rating: 1 )
by navydocny on
Sunday, 26th October 2008 @ 08:06:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Rendering...
I know the pain very well and feel it in this....
Very well done...
Steve |
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Re: Saturday July 19, 2008
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Sunday, 26th October 2008 @ 11:18:46 PM AEST
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Other than losing a child this is another heart wrenching thing to have happen.
I am so sorry you have been hurt so deeply.
I felt each painful word. I wont say oh tomorrow will be better..... it takes time but do not let someone wound you so deeply that you do not find the love out there you deserve.
May a pretty rainbow dance in your dreams tonight hun.
Hugsssssss
Michelle |
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Re: Saturday July 19, 2008
(User Rating: 1 )
by high_on_duct_tape on
Monday, 27th October 2008 @ 02:42:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Overall, this is a nice poem. It does get awkward at times when you try to fit it in to the rhyme scheme (you could either edit this or drop the rhyme). Still, the premise is good. It's not the most original, but it is passionate and clearly meaningful.
I have to say, what intrigues me the most is the date. Friday, July 18, 2008 my then-girlfriend and I broke up. Odd coincidence. |
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