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Array ( [sid] => 145922 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Through the glass window [time] => 2008-10-26 12:29:43 [hometext] => Dedicated to my late grandfather [bodytext] => Through the wide glass window,
You wave to me happily,
Back from a trip to China,
With a trolley of goodies for me.

Through the tinted glass window,
You wave goodbye to me,
Only when the car drives out of sight,
Would you turn your back and leave.

But through this small glass window,
You look a little different, expressionless.
I'm not sure if you are really still there,
I'm not sure, where you will be going.

Through this last glass window,
I hope you can hear me without me speaking,
How much I already miss you,
How much I really love you,
How much I hope it's a better place for you up there.
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 172 [topic] => 32 [informant] => audaudaud [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

Through the glass window

Contributed by audaudaud on Sunday, 26th October 2008 @ 12:29:43 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

Through the wide glass window,
You wave to me happily,
Back from a trip to China,
With a trolley of goodies for me.

Through the tinted glass window,
You wave goodbye to me,
Only when the car drives out of sight,
Would you turn your back and leave.

But through this small glass window,
You look a little different, expressionless.
I'm not sure if you are really still there,
I'm not sure, where you will be going.

Through this last glass window,
I hope you can hear me without me speaking,
How much I already miss you,
How much I really love you,
How much I hope it's a better place for you up there.

Copyright © audaudaud ... [ 2008-10-26 12:29:43]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Through the glass window (User Rating: 1 )
by heartfelt on Sunday, 26th October 2008 @ 02:02:24 PM AEST
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beautiful piece. i like the thought of a better place!

Re: Through the glass window (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Sunday, 26th October 2008 @ 11:00:35 PM AEST
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You captured a write so touching. You made the reader feel your heart, touching write.
Hugs

Michelle

Re: Through the glass window (User Rating: 1 )
by high_on_duct_tape on Monday, 27th October 2008 @ 03:28:53 AM AEST
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I lost a grandfather a few years ago. It's not easy.

As for the poem, I like the central image of windows. I think you could play up details much more, especially towards the beginning. Also, the sentiments at the end are a bit standard (how could they not be?). You could try ending on a more unique note.

Write on,

Solomon

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