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Array
(
[sid] => 145274
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => schizophrenia
[time] => 2008-09-20 00:08:49
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => You don't know how hard it is To fit in like I attempt The shadowy darkness the secret within Creates an inner toil that pushes me to the brink I smile and talk with you so normal Yet deep within I fear them The illusions so real, so frightening The voices calling my name Only I can hear The white shadows darting around my vision It's impossible to ignore But I try my best So when you see my eyes dart around quickly And you hear me call out "huh?" when no one spoke Do me a favor and pretend you didn't notice The embarrassing disease, the horrible secret It's taken me years to even fit in So when I have a slip-up And forget to ignore the hallucinations Act like it didn't happen Don't point it out, don't make a face Don't call me crazy It's hard enough to survive with this And to not cry at the feeling that someone's always watching you The sensation that someone's there My ghosts, my shadows, my demons I can't control them But I can try to ignore them So many years I've tried so hard And am finally socially acceptable Without hardly an incident to count But once in a while the shadows are too strong And I hear a voice so real that I cannot stop from replying Or see a shape so frightening I can't help but jump But just ignore my little tiny lapses And try to understand why I ask this Because the pain and embarrassment is great enough You have no idea what it's like To be schizophrenic in the real world [comments] => 3 [counter] => 3034 [topic] => 65 [informant] => desolantdreamer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff )
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