|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Array
(
[sid] => 144880
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => When One Lover Surrenders...
[time] => 2008-09-02 16:16:42
[hometext] => The story in my mind for this probably isn't explained enough, so the title might not make any sense... Still, I hope you enjoy the read :D haha
[bodytext] => The iced blanket breaks around my skin
As I become one with the blue
As I sink in
I reach the ground
Without a sound
And for the first time I feel at home
And for the first time I don't need you
As I dig my feet in the bottom
For the first time I feel cleansed of all sin
Blue, blue, icy blue
As I am pearly white
My blanket swirls around me
I am pearly blue
Blue, blue, icy blue
I start to fly without command
I fight and flail to return
And then I search with foot and hand
I find a heavy weight
Anchor down, it's not too late
And I know I will stay here forevermore
And I know I will laugh as my lungs burn
For the last time I bid my world goodbye
And I know I will prefer this home in the sand
Blue, blue, icy blue
As I am ghostly white
My blanket settles upon me
I am ghostly blue
Blue, blue, icy blue
I am blue, blue
Icy blue
And you are pearly white
[comments] => 10
[counter] => 288
[topic] => 36
[informant] => eeeitak
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 20
[ratings] => 4
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Suicide
)
When One Lover Surrenders...
Contributed by
eeeitak
on
Tuesday, 2nd September 2008 @ 04:16:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
The iced blanket breaks around my skin
As I become one with the blue
As I sink in
I reach the ground
Without a sound
And for the first time I feel at home
And for the first time I don't need you
As I dig my feet in the bottom
For the first time I feel cleansed of all sin
Blue, blue, icy blue
As I am pearly white
My blanket swirls around me
I am pearly blue
Blue, blue, icy blue
I start to fly without command
I fight and flail to return
And then I search with foot and hand
I find a heavy weight
Anchor down, it's not too late
And I know I will stay here forevermore
And I know I will laugh as my lungs burn
For the last time I bid my world goodbye
And I know I will prefer this home in the sand
Blue, blue, icy blue
As I am ghostly white
My blanket settles upon me
I am ghostly blue
Blue, blue, icy blue
I am blue, blue
Icy blue
And you are pearly white
Copyright ©
eeeitak
... [
2008-09-02 16:16:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 2nd September 2008 @ 10:09:16 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow Katie, this is really interesting. This was
done tactfully and metaphorically, something
I've not seen in most poetry listed
under "suicide." I love the tone to it and the
feeling of peacefulness throughout it. Great
job girl.
~Jesse |
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2008 @ 12:18:53 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow, it is a rare occasion...honestly, maybe only once before, that I read poetry under the suicide category but wow. This poem is incredible with the imagery. I can actually clearly see every line you wrote here. And talk about flow....just too cool. Awesome write. When I read the line I fight and flail to return my chest started to get tight. Then when I got to And I know I will laugh as my lungs burn , I could feel that. Maybe it's because I almost drowned once. But ya know, I wasn't even thinking of that until I started writing this comment. Powerful stuff there, Katie.
Thanks,
Tim
:-)
|
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by navydocny on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2008 @ 01:48:22 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very pretty and yet very scary...
Great job! |
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2008 @ 06:25:01 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| You make the act sound almost romantic....very scary indeed!! But well written! |
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2008 @ 11:39:02 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
nicely done katie, as always...
wiz |
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2008 @ 12:01:56 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
beautifully hauntingly real...
hugs n' love nessa
|
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by amt on
Thursday, 4th September 2008 @ 04:25:04 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| killer stuff!!! a little scary.... but dude you are indeed a professional poet..... |
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th September 2008 @ 11:38:37 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
" And for the first time I feel at home
And for the first time I don't need you "
a very moving piece of reality
disguised as illusion, quite
candid and yet retains such
innocence, i love the line up
above, what a spledid writter
you are, a poet deserving of
the very tittle itself . . .
Ben . . .
|
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hakiokusaken on
Wednesday, 17th September 2008 @ 06:47:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow, your poem was written beautifully.... your poetic skills really show.... keep up the nice work....
Manny |
|
|
Re: When One Lover Surrenders...
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Sunday, 9th November 2008 @ 02:28:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow,I love this.
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
