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Array
(
[sid] => 144875
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => ualarrmya.
[time] => 2008-09-02 13:56:48
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I look around me and see everyone I see all of the problems and all of there fears The question I have is do they see me Do they know Im there do they see my tears Does anyone see whats inside of me Do they see past the laughs and the smiles Do they see how Im screaming inside of myself If there ears were open they could hear it for miles Im alone but surrounded by people too absorbed in themselves to understand That Im standing alone on a tightrope with nothing but hard rock to land I feel so scared and held in I feel like im about to burst I want people to like who I am I want people to see what Im worth I want to look in the mirror and say pretty I want to eat and not gain a pound I want to be the best at everything I want everyone i love to be around I want so so much but the thing is That I would never try for them myself Because I can only see others in the real world I am nothing to me or to anyone else I dont want to feel alone anymore I want to know everyone I can I want to be smarter and perfect and great I feel like im not worth a damn When people look at me what do they see pretty? ugly? skinny or fat? most importantly why does that matter ? why should I care about that? Doesnt everyone say its what you think that matters but what if you think nothing good what if i say im stupid and ugly and worthess cause right now im thinking I should. Maybe someday Ill have all the answers Maybe someday this all will be solved I just cant wait for this to be over for all of my problems resolved. I guess theres no way to know when this burden is for now mine to carry But till then I will remain yours the confused and the trying, Laura Mary [comments] => 5 [counter] => 209 [topic] => 43 [informant] => LauraMary [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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