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Array
(
[sid] => 142710
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => My Thoughts On Love
[time] => 2008-05-27 15:51:23
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I lay here every night moving from room to room to kill the emptiness I feel inside, surrounding myself with things and thoughts that will erase you from my recurring memories, I can’t get u out of my head. I’ve broken up with boys before so I know the drill, spend a few weeks thinking if it was right then move on to the next bigger and better thing in life to come, but I can’t move on because it has almost been a month now and for some reason I still have those ”first week broken up thoughts”, the thoughts of lying next to you in my bed and looking into your eyes, the thoughts of your arms holding me and caressing my hair down my cheek making me smile just to be with you, thoughts of how our life would be now and what we would be doing if I was with u at this very moment instead of here sitting alone. I wonder if this is just a long drawn out phase I’m going through, it might be. But I’ve tried so hard to figure out if this is so, I’ve seeked advice from every person I know that has a clue about love or anything related to it, they have all said different things for different reason and now I just am more confused than I ever have been in my life. I wish I could just leave it at that, but I can’t I have to chose… just chose…I wish it was as easy as said than done but I’m afraid it’s not. For some reason I feel as if this is some kind of major decision… life breaking…have to decide now RIGHT NOW!.. or I will never be able to get the moment back kind of decision… but it’s NOT, so why do I feel so pressured? Or maybe it’s not pressure maybe its…love. It makes u so crazy u can’t sleep and cry every time u think of it because unlike other emotions happy makes u smile, sad makes your frown, but when u try to deeply think about the emotion of love is so powerful your body spazzes out from the inside out and can’t handle too deep of thinking into a emotion that doesn’t require thinking, that you just cry, well at least most of us do. Because we can’t see it, we can’t taste it, we can’t smell or hear it, but feel, feeling love is all that we can do and it kills me to realize that this is why I’m going mad, up till 2 am thinking, tossing, and turning about who to chose… who to chose… that in the long run will end up mine forever, my prince to care and shield me from all evils… who will it be? If I could only talk to god himself to help me decide my future, but then again love is words of god. It is his work of art that makes a human so incredibly weak. I hate it, yet couldn’t live life without it because it’s the only thing that makes me feel real… like an actual human being in this humungous world, a little person like me feel big and important, like my life matters for something, so now I understand why this decision is so important. How about this… I chose the one in my thoughts every night… not by force, but by LOVE.
[comments] => 0
[counter] => 146
[topic] => 2
[informant] => EvaLastingRose
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => LovePoetry
)
|
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