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Array
(
[sid] => 141477
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => stumbling to an understanding. . .
[time] => 2008-04-09 12:47:49
[hometext] => who are you? & where are you? my dear friend. . .
[bodytext] => what is this? barely conceivable. . . this iconoclastic station. . . I, unable to release. . .my spirit. restless. . . in it's need. pray, help me to catch my breath, & settle my mind, delay my tendencies. does reverence wait intent on blessing? does reverence wait for me? wait in deepest disappointment? wait in hope of relinguishing burdens, burdening? wait in a place where nothing ever will console? a place of ancient greed. in vitro growth. forced growth, despised. . . disguised. . . as painful seed. a stalling sensation of a pause. . . a dog-earred page . . . of need. a stillness. . . speculating lose. no, more at an absence of our shame. a renaming of our deeds. our hand-holding ceased. I climbed alone, scattered abandoning. avoiding any so called bonds. I avoid the ties of travesty. past bindings left in tatters 3 times 3, & schemed, that tied us to these matters oh, so carelessly. how comforting at last, my love at long last, to be free. . . oh, my lips how they are sealed at my own dire request. words, they tend to gnarl, to gag, so as not to form regret. . . strangled. . . by the very thoughts that gave them birth, that brought about first breath. each one chanced & prodigal & unresolved, still stands. another precious moment lost . . . slipped, slipping from our hands. gone now in the flux of passions' reprimand. nothing. . . no, I am not confused. there is nothing. . .now except the nothingness that my resistance, bent, creates & then feigns to weld command. a tether to a time gone by abused & laid to rest. a wringing of my hands. I find them crossing at my chest. a promise to myself, obliged. my promise barely kept. . . I stumble to an understanding & stumbling, yet I wept. . . [comments] => 1 [counter] => 244 [topic] => 73 [informant] => elle [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => abstract )
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