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Array
(
[sid] => 141324
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Seven Years
[time] => 2008-04-02 19:08:07
[hometext] => 7 years since I lost what I had and 7 years of living life so bad...
[bodytext] => Seven years I’ve spent trying to dodge the lies living life from joy to meaningless joy filling the void with shameful highs and pretending it’s the dream I kept inside I’ve given into temptation until there’s nothing left to surrender and now I only see tearful nights awaiting me as I stare into my future’s horizon Because it’s just another need to me like the food I eat it’s hunger cured with shame and a pain that stains my pillow when I try to rest on those empty nights wasted where I don’t belong getting things I’ll never need I never beat my demons just changed them into ones with smiling faces while carrying promises never meant to be held I pretended everything was fine when I was more broken than ever just a shell of who I could have been and a shadow of what I was before I want to turn and face the truth but how can I fight who I am How can I conquer what I need when I feel it beating within my veins So as I lay here temporarily pacified with tears of shame streaked across my face and broken promises ringing in my head I cower in the dark again too weak to stand up to myself powerless to challenge who I am even as the world plays my weaknesses like a bow on a violin I know the struggle will never end only abated by momentary joys Even when gazing into the eyes of love I’m just a pathetic soul born again just to be sacrificed like so many times before in these seven years I’ve lived through the blur of addict’s eyes where highs are lows and everything in between is a bed of lies and though I see the truth now and gaze upon my sins with open mind the world remains unchanged For it’s seven years until tomorrow tomorrow when I’ll be broken again just another empty day spent bowing before my vices while trying to call it life between dodging the lies and living the meaningless joys I’ve come to know so well [comments] => 1 [counter] => 178 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Majesticpoet [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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