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Array
(
[sid] => 141126
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Alone vs Lonely
[time] => 2008-03-21 23:23:17
[hometext] => Isn't a constant cycle, but a consistent one.
[bodytext] => Taking deep breaths to keep my head afloat, to lighten my head His scent spins deep into my soul and I am still no better Settling onto the bottom of my stomach I feel Feel more than I should after such a time and distance What is a memory such as this One with such a power that it shakes my body Tugging and pushing against as if, but no remind myself that it isn't And when the sweat begins to seep from my skin, it is his too When flesh is so close and creates the friction that Pieces melt together and I always seem to be left with less of my own Though there are few and they come as quickly as they go With these remnants I am left with until the next thief arrives My lips are not even mine, I could rub them til tears Tears that would sting and burn like his mark did to me A bruise left not only upon the mouth, but within the mind as well I cannot freely bleed for that too brings his taste back to me As if it would leave on its own accord, I think not Being alone is fine, but feeling lonely is another thing entirely Wait til his habitual smoke leaves my hair and then pace Pace until the day when my clothes no longer slur of Jim Beam It is as it has always been and others will come again Discover me and my incompatibilities and they will leave Move away so others can leave themselves behind for me to carry On to the next one I guess, on to the next I am the stepping stone for him, any one of them Climbing onward and past the thing that makes them realize We could all do so much better than her No matter to me, it doesn't matter I say for in someway I am doing my part though it's worthless In some form I am what makes them find their best Desperately I whisper into my mind a thought Will not anyone stay here, learn to lie in toleration for me As soon as brain registers the thought I know inside I would not want that, do not want them anyway Murmuring into these empty sheets how I wish they could warm themselves Warm up the sheets with this body alone, this learning experience the boys can do without Toss and turn but it's useless cause I know there isn't a soul to rub against Forgetting him, is yet another thing I give up, what's the use Possessor of this, identity smudged with whatever they graciously decide to leave Some point will come, and another will try his hand along this conformed mess Crushing the lingering taste with his own saliva, his own wordly liquids Finishing he will know what he no longer wants and continue his search for the better good of himself I will lay in the folds of a bed only I sleep in, caressing a face that hasn't got a chest to rest against Unhappy with myself, what intrigue could anyone find within Not a girl that makes you hang around, I know when they are gone Memories of me are not going to be staining even their dirtiest shirt Wistfully I keep myself awake asking myself playful children's questions What would you like to be when you grow up Don't wish, want not, you cannot have what isn't meant for you Heavy head finally presses into these linens knowing when I emerge It will only be after dreams of another being, only to wake and see no one near me Happens consistently, wonder why I waste my minutes on thinking Something this deep isn't going to leave unless to be replaced Unlike myself til one more comes on in to rearrange the memories Were they real, do I really miss what I am without is this No, he too leaves and then I inhale slowly and once again The scent settles right into me and I will not forget [comments] => 0 [counter] => 245 [topic] => 44 [informant] => Marrs [notes] => Edited for spelling as requested - Moderator_16 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => Nostalgic )
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