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Array
(
[sid] => 140790
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Changing Isn't Always Good
[time] => 2008-03-05 15:15:05
[hometext] => I'd like to thank Bri and Michelle for helping me with many things in life. Particularly the most recent, without them I'd still not of been able to fix it. Thank you for the advise, thank you for making me make the right decision
[bodytext] => Watching myself change I'm an onlooker to my own life I don't know what's happening I don't know what I'm doing I'm changing and I can't stop it I'm making decisions that aren't right And I know it I'm an outsider I see myself Hear myself Sometimes I'm wondering why Why did I just say that, do that? I can't stop myself Even if I tell myself I'm scared one day I'll look at my life And wonder how it got so bad How I got to where I was I'm scared that I won't be able to take control of my own life Scared everything will go wrong Why am I changing? Why can't I seem to choose? What is this? Who am I? I don't even know anymore I wish someone could help me Save me from myself I wish I was the old me I don't like the new me Why did I change? Why am I changing? I don't like this... Change is not always good Look where it's gotten me Stuck as an onlooker Unable to save myself from myself I'm my own worst enemy And all I can do is sit back and watch Criticize every detail Point out everything that is wrong Tell myself how to fix it all (only I know I'm not paying attention to my own advise) [comments] => 3 [counter] => 193 [topic] => 43 [informant] => The_Unknown [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 14 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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