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Array
(
[sid] => 139753
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => How I feel, as opposed to you.
[time] => 2008-01-12 15:25:12
[hometext] => I was in a horrible mood when I wrote this,..but I meant it.
[bodytext] => I wish I could believe like you. You're so naiive, you haven't learned anything yet. You make like you have it all. No, you make like you have everything you need. I'm jealous of the way you think you have the entire world, and it's yours for the taking. Can't you see it's only a lie? The older you become, the more you'll see, The piece of world you have is only a grain of sand on this beach, yours for the taking, but hopelessly indifferent. You think your love is perhaps, the only love, that will last forever. Don't you know, forever is a rainbow? In the beginning, the colors stand aligned, but after time, they begin to mesh together into gray. There are no silver linings on it's clouds, and it ends, not with a pot of gold, but with hurt feelings. You have not yet been covered with this world's great cloak, the great rock over our hearts that protects us from pain. For most, it just starts growing one day, until it covers us all. You've not seen the cedar tree, carved into a box, that one day, we decided to crawl atop, the love that pushed us down into it's abyss of black, shut us inside when we turned our backs, and swallowed the key to it's shining lock. We've been taught not to expect or hope. We've learned to only be what we can, and not try to be what we want. I wish I had your thriving sense of life. It seems so many things have kept me from living. I've got so much to lose, I've got this fault, I'm unforgiving, and I wish that I could help it, it seems easy to you, but from what I've seen, alot of things for you, aren't hard to do. I wish I could believe like you. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 323 [topic] => 63 [informant] => meadcomposition [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => hbadday )
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