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Array
(
[sid] => 139693
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => hate
[time] => 2008-01-10 04:07:48
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Am I really that nice? Could I possibly ever forgive him? I shouldn't. I should hate him I want to hate him I've never been one to hold a grudge for long though And I couldn't hate someone no matter how I tried I'm so flawed with that A normal person wouldn't forgive him for what he did A normal person would hate him, despise him I don't hate him I am mad at him Betrayed, hurt, confused But I don't hate him Do I still...? NO! I won't allow that again! I loved him once and the pain nearly killed me I will never love him again I know that's not my choice, I can't not love But I know that what he did was unforgiveable He used me, gained my trust, betrayed me He broke my heart and sent me crashing into depression unlike any I've ever had I want to hate him I want to be able hate I don't want to be so trusting, so easy Every part of my body screams "hate him! loath him!" Thats what my common sense says But my heart, and my gut say in their softly forceful voice "you can't do that. it's not in your nature" The truth? I'm so incredibly hurt So mad So betrayed But so horribly, terribly, in love with him [comments] => 1 [counter] => 207 [topic] => 21 [informant] => desolantdreamer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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