Your Poetry Dot Com

Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!

Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+

Custom Search


Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	29-May 15:27:49 AEST

Menu

· Our eBay Store

· Error Submit

Poetry

· Submit Poetry

· Least Read Poems

· Members Listing

· Old Site Post 2001

· Old Site Pre 2001

· Poetry Archive

· Public Domain Poetry

Stories

· Stories (NEW ! )

· Submit Story

· Story Topics

· Stories Archive

· Story Search

Community

· Our Poetry Forums

· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

Site Help

· FAQ

· Feedback

Members Areas

· Your Account

· Members Journals

· Premium Sign-Up

Premium Section

· Special Section

· Premium Poems

· Premium Submit

· Premium Search

· Premium Archive

· Premium Topics

Fun & Games

· Jokes

· Bubble Puzzle

· Cross Word Easy

· Word Hunt

Reference

· Dictionary (Rhyming)

· Site Updates

· Special Content

Search

Top

Help This Site

· Donations

Others

· Moderators

Our Other Sites

· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

Social

Array ( [sid] => 139626 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => WAR [time] => 2008-01-06 14:28:26 [hometext] => [bodytext] => NOW I STAND FOR ALL TO SEE

THE LESSER MAN INSIDE OF ME

IVE COME TO FIGHT THIS ONE LAST BATTLE

LEARN TO LOVE FROM THE PAIN I'VE SEEN

TAKE ME WHERE MY EYES ARE LOST

DARKNESS HELL OR HOLACOST

TAKE ME WHERE I CANNOT SEE

THIS DEVIL THAT'S INSIDE OF ME

FIGHT THE DEMONS

INSIDE MY HEAD

MY MIND IS FULL OF THE HELL I'VE SEEN

NOT HERE ON EARTH BUT IN BETWEEN

COME TAKE MY SOUL AND SET IT FREE

I KNOW THERE IS SOME GOOD LEFT INSIDE OF ME

DEATHLY FOES I'VE NEVER FOUGHT

BODIES DEAD I SEE THEM ROT

DEATH IS UPON US

NOW RISE TO THE POWER

DON'T RUN TO THE HILLS DON'T YOU COWER

FIGHT WITH ME RIGHT BY MY SIDE

WE MIGHT LIVE THREW THIS SUICIDE

[comments] => 1 [counter] => 175 [topic] => 13 [informant] => MILLER_GENUINE_SWINE [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

WAR

Contributed by MILLER_GENUINE_SWINE on Sunday, 6th January 2008 @ 02:28:26 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

NOW I STAND FOR ALL TO SEE

THE LESSER MAN INSIDE OF ME

IVE COME TO FIGHT THIS ONE LAST BATTLE

LEARN TO LOVE FROM THE PAIN I'VE SEEN

TAKE ME WHERE MY EYES ARE LOST

DARKNESS HELL OR HOLACOST

TAKE ME WHERE I CANNOT SEE

THIS DEVIL THAT'S INSIDE OF ME

FIGHT THE DEMONS

INSIDE MY HEAD

MY MIND IS FULL OF THE HELL I'VE SEEN

NOT HERE ON EARTH BUT IN BETWEEN

COME TAKE MY SOUL AND SET IT FREE

I KNOW THERE IS SOME GOOD LEFT INSIDE OF ME

DEATHLY FOES I'VE NEVER FOUGHT

BODIES DEAD I SEE THEM ROT

DEATH IS UPON US

NOW RISE TO THE POWER

DON'T RUN TO THE HILLS DON'T YOU COWER

FIGHT WITH ME RIGHT BY MY SIDE

WE MIGHT LIVE THREW THIS SUICIDE

Copyright © MILLER_GENUINE_SWINE ... [ 2008-01-06 14:28:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)

Advertisments:

Previous Posted Poem | | Next Posted Poem

Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more

All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.

Re: WAR (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Sunday, 6th January 2008 @ 06:36:34 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this overall was a good post. some of the grammatical errors, lack of punctuation, and capital letters took away from what you were saying though. presentation is a lot in poetry, especially when the format can help the poetry be read more powerfully. this would have been a lot better in stanzas and without the spaces in between lines because that causes all the lines to lose power, instead of emphasizing a particular lines power by doing that same thing. you had some pretty good rhythm going in this, but some misssteps with word choice here and there interrupted it (which giving you the benefit of a doubt) could express the discord of war, add emphasis to the line, and not make this poem become sing songy and have the words overlooked for sound. this doesnt sound generic (like you are someone that hasnt fought in a war) and sounds real so that is an accomplishment to relay what youve seen (if you have served in war) or to write this well about an experience you havent had. overall good piece like i said. i liked the rawness and rhymes especially.

While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com