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Array
(
[sid] => 138962
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => My life ...part 1 of 2
[time] => 2007-12-04 05:57:08
[hometext] => feels great to write again, hope ya'll feel my thoughts... feel free to tell me what ya'll think.
[bodytext] => It all started when my dad decided to leave his legacy behind. He is no one famous, but I kept his last name, it was all I had left of him, so I made it mine. In my mind things didn't go the way I had planned, my mom told me I had to stop being a child, because my dad couldn't be that man. She always worried how I'd turn out to be, it was like I could read her mind, I would either end up dead or in the penitentiary. I didn't have friends that would watch my back, it was like I was a stranger in this world, my only friend was my cat. I hung out with other kids that would do nothing else but steal: my mom could only get me so much, her emotions about it was something I couldn't feel. But I was tired of being the family that didn't have. I use to find things around the house and wrap for Christmas, the other side of my family would do nothing but laugh. It broke my heart to know we where all alone, I knew from then on, I had to be that man and do things on my own. At one point I didn't believe in a higher power, with the direction I was headed, things got worse every second, minute, and hour. Death was something I wasn't afraid to face. I remember this man being stabbed in the back until he died, I wonder what was running through his mind, we had the stop snitching rule back then, so the cops were just wasting their time. I still have the scars from the night I got beat, I was playing nintendo and my step dad was drunk, he told me to put the pillows in the sheets, but I told him to wait, ( you know how you get so deep into a game?) Well he got up and grabbed a yard stick and slammed it on my back, my love turned to hate, I'd never be the same. I was gang affiliated by the time I was eleven. I wasn't allowed to do dirt, but I learned from others mistakes that sent them to heaven. It was a choice that I was man enough to make, I could always tell who had nothing to lose and who was fake. I lost so many brothers to this game, it was like I was in a war, my heart pumped vengeance, and I wouldn't rest my head until I settled the score. I remember when Kenny told me I was like his brother, that's how you know ya'll are going to down forever. Whenever drama popped off I knew he had my back, and when the streets got too hot, we headed to AZ to cover our tracks. It was four of us, but one didn't belong, and I blame him for twisting Kenny's mind up, we were singing the same tune, and he was on his own song. Kenny told me it was time to go back home for my daughter, to be that better man than my father. But when I got to Tx someone wanted the outcast six feet under, word got back and all three thought I was the hitter. Brothers forever, but not in his eyes, Kenny wanted me dead but nobody took the hit, they knew who twisted the truth into lies. Somebody killed Kenny, it had to been someone he knew, because reports say he must of let the person in, because he didn't break through.
[comments] => 1
[counter] => 185
[topic] => 55
[informant] => THUGGIN4REAL
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 2
[ratings] => 1
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => dedicatedpoems
)
|
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