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Array ( [sid] => 138950 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Away From The Sun [time] => 2007-12-03 08:55:08 [hometext] => Plz leave ur comments. [bodytext] => I met her on a day,
In the end of November.
I want to recall,
But I want to forget her.

I was ushered inside,
And told my mistakes.
I was embarrassed,
Then was immersed in the sight of her face.

I knew at this moment,
that this was the flower.
That grew in the soil,
And would die off without her.

So I looked in her eyes,
And I planted a seed.
That was to be my only flower.
In a garden of weeds.

The flower it grew,
And eclipsed all the weeds
And the Elms and the Oaks,
The birds in the breeze.

All in a moment,
That’s all that I felt.
Because once in her gaze,
I could never get out.

Winter came and went,
And I flew for a time,
The joys in the sky,
Reflected in her eyes.

But, I wish I could sing,
And I wish I could fly
And I wish to have,
Lasers shooting out of my eyes.

I left things to chance,
and took things for granted,
and I left sad and alone
Rather loved and romantic.

And the plant it withered,
And died in the heart of the fire,
That had consumed my heart,
And it died off without her.

And all that was left was the blackness,
And a jungle of weeds,
A tallness of trees,
And a singular seed,
That I wait to plant,
In her hazel eyes,
And then I would protect it,
And then could happily die.

That’s a long time from now,
And I’ve still got my tricks,
My bottle of luck,
And my basket of wit.

If I had one thing,
I know what I’d do,
I’d stop listening to love songs,
And get back to you.

And trading the world,
Is still in the question,
I love her so much more,
But I’m open for suggestions.

The things I’d do to look,
In her eyes once it’s over,
And say to her,
That I wanted to love her.

We might meet again,
But naught can be undone,
On my endless cycle,
Away from the sun.
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 260 [topic] => 32 [informant] => Maccabeus [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

Away From The Sun

Contributed by Maccabeus on Monday, 3rd December 2007 @ 08:55:08 AM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

I met her on a day,
In the end of November.
I want to recall,
But I want to forget her.

I was ushered inside,
And told my mistakes.
I was embarrassed,
Then was immersed in the sight of her face.

I knew at this moment,
that this was the flower.
That grew in the soil,
And would die off without her.

So I looked in her eyes,
And I planted a seed.
That was to be my only flower.
In a garden of weeds.

The flower it grew,
And eclipsed all the weeds
And the Elms and the Oaks,
The birds in the breeze.

All in a moment,
That’s all that I felt.
Because once in her gaze,
I could never get out.

Winter came and went,
And I flew for a time,
The joys in the sky,
Reflected in her eyes.

But, I wish I could sing,
And I wish I could fly
And I wish to have,
Lasers shooting out of my eyes.

I left things to chance,
and took things for granted,
and I left sad and alone
Rather loved and romantic.

And the plant it withered,
And died in the heart of the fire,
That had consumed my heart,
And it died off without her.

And all that was left was the blackness,
And a jungle of weeds,
A tallness of trees,
And a singular seed,
That I wait to plant,
In her hazel eyes,
And then I would protect it,
And then could happily die.

That’s a long time from now,
And I’ve still got my tricks,
My bottle of luck,
And my basket of wit.

If I had one thing,
I know what I’d do,
I’d stop listening to love songs,
And get back to you.

And trading the world,
Is still in the question,
I love her so much more,
But I’m open for suggestions.

The things I’d do to look,
In her eyes once it’s over,
And say to her,
That I wanted to love her.

We might meet again,
But naught can be undone,
On my endless cycle,
Away from the sun.

Copyright Â© Maccabeus ... [ 2007-12-03 08:55:08]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Away From The Sun (User Rating: 1 )
by conorshawn on Monday, 3rd December 2007 @ 10:12:02 AM AEST
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very good

Re: Away From The Sun (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 3rd December 2007 @ 12:19:24 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This incredible masterpeice leaves me speechless in it's interity.
The journey you take us really rocks in wisdom and luv, thanks so much for sharing this.
luv, huggs, paryer-n-luv,
emy

Re: Away From The Sun (User Rating: 1 )
by Amicus on Monday, 3rd December 2007 @ 11:42:35 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i didnt really like your description of the poem "Plz leave ur comments." i thought it was kind of redundant. but anyway i enjoyed your poem in short

But i didnt really understand the signifigance of the last line in the second stanza and the eighth stanza
perhaps you could adjust those and make the flow of the poem better.
keep writing : )

Re: Away From The Sun (User Rating: 1 )
by ki on Tuesday, 4th December 2007 @ 01:30:44 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hey...i really enjoyed this poem..a lot...i think you r very talented and keep up the good work!

ki

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