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Array ( [sid] => 138818 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The knife cuts deep [time] => 2007-11-27 10:55:11 [hometext] => We are about to lose our house and my depression has spiraled out of control. This is how i have been feeling lately. [bodytext] => I never understood
I could not comprehend
Why they cut themselves
Why all the harm inflicted

I know depression
I know sadness
But I always saw a reason
To live on and on

My life I hide from others
A smile I put forth
Cutting would bring questions
When I just wanted to be ignored

I am bipolar
I am manic depressive
Some days life seems impossible
Some days life is just grand

Slowly as I adjust
My meds stop working
I began to understand
I began to comprehend

Life just gets harder
The smiles come less often
Why continue to pretend
Why try to fight what cannot be fought

I now know why they cut
I now know why they hurt
But for me I cannot start
For I don’t know when to quit

A shallow cut to begin
Watch as the blood begins to drip
Fascinated, I cut deeper
Wanting to set myself free

I understand the need
I understand the pain
But I cannot stop the knife
Before I end my life.
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 254 [topic] => 36 [informant] => mercedes [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

The knife cuts deep

Contributed by mercedes on Tuesday, 27th November 2007 @ 10:55:11 AM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

I never understood
I could not comprehend
Why they cut themselves
Why all the harm inflicted

I know depression
I know sadness
But I always saw a reason
To live on and on

My life I hide from others
A smile I put forth
Cutting would bring questions
When I just wanted to be ignored

I am bipolar
I am manic depressive
Some days life seems impossible
Some days life is just grand

Slowly as I adjust
My meds stop working
I began to understand
I began to comprehend

Life just gets harder
The smiles come less often
Why continue to pretend
Why try to fight what cannot be fought

I now know why they cut
I now know why they hurt
But for me I cannot start
For I don’t know when to quit

A shallow cut to begin
Watch as the blood begins to drip
Fascinated, I cut deeper
Wanting to set myself free

I understand the need
I understand the pain
But I cannot stop the knife
Before I end my life.

Copyright Â© mercedes ... [ 2007-11-27 10:55:11]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The knife cuts deep (User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on Tuesday, 27th November 2007 @ 03:58:40 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I'M EPILEPTIC,I USED TO DO THAT ALL THE TIME TOO,BUT THE ONLY ONE LAUGHING WAS ME! I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,& WHAT YOU'RE GOING THRU! WHY KEEP ON CUTTING YOURSELF, WHEN EVERYTHING IN LIFE ALREADY CUTS LIKE A KNIFE! AND I'M NOT GONNA LET ANYTHING OR ANYBODY ELSE CUT ME,I'D RATHER DO IT MYSELF,SOLUTIONS SUCK SO YOUR BEST BET IS YOURSELF! IF YOU'RE SMART ENUFF TO WRITE WHAT YOU DID,THEN I KNOW YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO OVER COME SUCH A STUPID THING:) A GREAT POEM FROM A GREAT PERSON,THINK ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAN!

Re: The knife cuts deep (User Rating: 1 )
by ki on Wednesday, 28th November 2007 @ 02:49:42 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I am so sorry you feel this way.I hope things change for you soon

Re: The knife cuts deep (User Rating: 1 )
by Rescue on Wednesday, 28th November 2007 @ 05:38:57 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Perhaps a medication change is in order? Over time, it's quite common to develop a tolerance to such things.

Perhaps instead of cutting, you should channel your angst and frustration into your writing more often. It's why I started and it's actually been a bit therapeutic for me.

And remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Hang in there!

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