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Array
(
[sid] => 137995
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => lay down thy sword
[time] => 2007-10-24 17:31:33
[hometext] => newest and in my opinion my best
[bodytext] => A life lived in dimmed light, a vow made in the silence of a confession, A tale of forgotten mysteries plagued and entangled with obsession, Lost in a democracy of false names, faces and defences, Living to exceed a potential set in thee mind frame of a false pretence, Always watching from the minimal distance of the chosen line of sight, Constantly anxious, nervous and prepared to rekindle the fight, But such a primitive existence is no longer entertaining to assume, And so it is ignored so more desirable actions can resume, Still the failure, not able to change, not even certain of the correct path, Created as a false assurance of safety and vengeful wrath, Led to misconceive the intentions of a confused and undecided mentality, Pushed into the emptiness while simply grasping for the offer of clarity, Such an existence far beyond the reach of mortal souls, Believing the impurities of unreachable and demoralising goals, Through weakness and fear the attributes of forced confidence shine with unbearable intensity, Deceptive dreams and images couple with tainted emotions of little density, Yet everything must be constructed and delivered without consideration or care, Clinging to beliefs that were imprinted while honesty was rare, Unable to release an old habit, mentally caught the wake of this infinite cyclic loop, Imprisoned by illusions, the very expectations of decency and happiness begin to stoop, Corruption and deception as common as this veil of if truthful innocence continues to slip As the power of this realisation gradually fades the suffering is returned as the personalities flip, Tearing at the soul, snapping the heartstrings and violating the dreams, Beside these imitations of feelings my tattered soul still gleams, Yet in this there is no comfort to be found where as logic begs to elude once again, Too often succumbing to this unwanted logic, forever a slave to the pain, The definition of control toyed with in plain view, provoking rebellion to unearth hatred hidden within, Experiencing that hatred to then illuminate a tapestry of false guilt, to view under deception until it pins you in, Tear away the masks, forget the illusions, tear away the smiles and the tears, Show me who I am to you, or in that will I realise my worst fears? Wondering has left me in the extended process of internal destruction, what would the truth put me through? Am I a mere convenience? To helpless to be told the truth? Or do you love me as much as I’ve always hoped you do? [comments] => 0 [counter] => 182 [topic] => 39 [informant] => dagonet [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )
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