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Array
(
[sid] => 137051
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => angel: part 3 final!
[time] => 2007-08-30 07:54:03
[hometext] => this is the final part. urgh it took me forever to think of an ending. lol. good?
[bodytext] => “My Mom used to always take me and Jenna out to ice cream on Fridays. She said it was her way of showing us one of Gods greatest creations. She also said it could cure any bad day. Daddy left and that afternoon was bad. I was crying for Daddy and had already called him more than five times; my crying even made Jenna cry. Mom was tired and even though it was a Wednesday, she took us to get homemade ice cream. I remember being a little happier in the car because ice cream was my favorite. Jenna was smiling and talking to us because she was always happy. I really don’t remember very much except seeing those really bright lights coming towards me. They were blinding; my head hit the dashboard and I was knocked out. Jenna, still in her car-seat, watched this all happen. She watched it all happen to my Mom. She watched the car flip, the watched the front of the car close in. Jenna saw it all; and then she didn’t talk. Mom was in the hospital for so long and Jenna was right there beside through it all; Jenna saw it all. My mom died a little while later and still Jenna was silent. My Dad and I tried so hard to get her to talk but she just didn’t. I blamed myself, and as far as I know, so does Dad.” I stopped talking for a bit. I needed to think through the events that came next and get rid of the lump in my throat. The older man seemed to understand this so he didn’t speak. He let me take my time at swallowing and starting up again. The tear that was now on my chin stung my skin like acid. That reminded me of what I didn’t understand then and what I wouldn’t let myself understand now. “I, of course being that small, had no idea what to do after that. I had lost my Mommy and as far as I was concerned, it was my fault. Dad had left me in charge and I had failed him. I looked just like my mother and Dad used to give me a sad look and tell me that every time I looked at him. It seemed like he didn’t want to look at me anymore; it was just too painful for him. I was grieving and not knowing how to react to all of that, I rebelled. I would put up a fight through everything and I would always sneak out. I could tell I was getting too much for my father to handle. Jenna still wouldn’t talk and she was going on six. I was going crazy and wouldn’t shut up about anything. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He told me to pack my things and an hour later I was at my Grammy’s. Grampy had died before I was born and Dad said Grammy could use some company. So I went to my Grammy’s house; against my will, but I went. Grammy didn’t take any crap. I was either good or I just shut up. So I shut up most of the time. I was quiet in my room until a meal came and that was life. Now I’m seventeen and haven’t seen my Dad or Jenna for a long time. Grammy doesn’t talk about them and doesn’t really acknowledge that they were even alive. I think she still holds a strong grudge against them for leaving me behind. I understand why they left me thought. I killed my mother and my sister now doesn’t talk.” Now I was quiet. Tears were building up and it surprised me when they fell. I hadn’t cried in years. I let them fall and when I felt a warm hand cupping my shoulder I felt a twang go through me. I turned my body toward the old man and he put he arms around me. I let myself cry. My body shook as I recalled all the details; the glass breaking the window and Jenna’s faint voice when the car finally landed up side down. Jenna’s voice saying, “Mommy…are you ok?” was the last time I ever heard her speak. I took in the scent of the old man and gently pulled away from him. The man hadn’t really spoken to me very much but I could tell he was going to now. “You know that it wasn’t your fault right. That happened for a reason and you going to your Grandmas was for a reason too. Now you’re here telling me this for a reason.” Remy looked at him, very confused from the words coming from his mouth. “How can me talking to you make a difference from anything that happened to me, then?” The old man seemed to melt before her eyes. She looked at him and for the first time noticed his green eyes. Remy thought she knew them. She thought she was looking into his heart but one suddenly filled with regret and betrayal. Remy, now filled with realization, cried even harder. For so long she had wanted this and now she was here. Her mind was full or questions and things she wanted to tell him. But for right now she was just happy to be back in the arms of her Grampy. “How can this be? It has been so long?”…Remy broke off as she felt her lungs cave in. She gasped a little as she stared at his face. The eyes she remembered being just like her fathers. The face from the pictures she saw from her childhood spread across her home. “It isn’t your fault, Remy. Your Mother is in heaven now and you know that. You must know she is happy. Your Father is with Jenna and of course he has made mistakes and has regrets but it was the past. You look like you’re doing just fine and you like your life with your Grandmother.” Grampy stopped speaking and leaned in to give Remy another hug. Remy wrapped her arms around him and took in the realization that he was right. It wasn’t her fault at all; it was all just fate. “Thank you, Grampy.” “…Anytime, kiddo; now get back home before your Grandma starts to worry.” At that point Remy looked out to see that the rain had passed abruptly and the sun was heading down for bed. Remy gave him one last hug and then headed toward the street. Remy looked back to smile but when she looked at her childhood tree, he was gone. She saw the swings slowly moving as she knew that her childhood ghosts had passed; that he had taken them with him. She knew that he had been there with her all the times her and Jenna had been there at night playing cards; all the Fridays at the ice cream parlor; and he was watching from the side of the road that day in the car. Remy hit the pavement and looked up at the sky. She knew who was up there. She looked at the colors streaked across the sky as their brilliance rinsed out her heart and gave her a new, clean notebook to start. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 307 [topic] => 21 [informant] => thebrokenyouth [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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