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Array ( [sid] => 136457 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The Game [time] => 2007-08-03 16:00:18 [hometext] => Feels fragmented, I would love some help with this one if anyone is willing. [bodytext] => You've heard all his lies
and though your heart cries
Cover up those tear stained eyes
with your social disguise.

You fell for his act
Signed his dark pact
Confusing his lies for fact
He seemed all that you lacked

At first all was grand
You wanted to shout to the land
It made your heart expand
Just to hold his hand

Then as if in a bad dream
There was a shift in theme
His word reigned supreme
And no one could hear you scream

Where you seemed weak, he was strong
And even though you knew you were wrong
You were convinced he did belong
But that delusion didn't last long

Then came the fighting
Which seemed exciting
Though the words were biting
It was finalized in writing

Now suddenly alone
Back to the dating game you are thrown
Where you sink like a stone
And can't cope with the unknown [comments] => 2 [counter] => 196 [topic] => 21 [informant] => PoeticHybrid [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )

The Game

Contributed by PoeticHybrid on Friday, 3rd August 2007 @ 04:00:18 PM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

You've heard all his lies
and though your heart cries
Cover up those tear stained eyes
with your social disguise.

You fell for his act
Signed his dark pact
Confusing his lies for fact
He seemed all that you lacked

At first all was grand
You wanted to shout to the land
It made your heart expand
Just to hold his hand

Then as if in a bad dream
There was a shift in theme
His word reigned supreme
And no one could hear you scream

Where you seemed weak, he was strong
And even though you knew you were wrong
You were convinced he did belong
But that delusion didn't last long

Then came the fighting
Which seemed exciting
Though the words were biting
It was finalized in writing

Now suddenly alone
Back to the dating game you are thrown
Where you sink like a stone
And can't cope with the unknown

Copyright Â© PoeticHybrid ... [ 2007-08-03 16:00:18]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Game (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Friday, 3rd August 2007 @ 04:42:29 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Personally, I think it's great as is.
good work.
huggs,
emy

Re: The Game (User Rating: 1 )
by Reason-rhymer on Friday, 3rd August 2007 @ 06:28:18 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I think the rhyme scheme is great. I usually like poems to end up upbeat with a realization at the end.

Possibly something like:

Now suddenly alone
Back to the dating game you are thrown
With a new hope I have grown
A better understanding, I’ve been shown

But Hey, that’s just the way I like to end them.

Good luck to you in the new game.

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