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Array
(
[sid] => 136430
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I miss you.
[time] => 2007-08-02 19:41:28
[hometext] => About My Brother. He Was Sent Away For a year.
[bodytext] => i cant believe your gone but your not gone forever your not dead you are safe i have to keep telling myself that because i miss you so i cry these tears, when i know i shouldnt you havnt left forever your coming back in a year ill be 15 ill be a sophmore i cant believe your missing my freshman year you wont be there to stand up for me when the seniors come you wont be able to tell them no i want you to be happy, as best you can and right now it may feel like everyones against you but im here are you should know that i know that you are the best no matter what ***** you did you are the best brother you are the best friend you are the best person the family will miss you here you wont be here to stand up for me when mom yells you wont be here when mom cries i keep checking your room thinking maybe hes home now thinking its just another long night where you stay out late and mom gets mad but your not coming back tonight are you? not tomorrow night or the night after a year will go by summer, winter, fall, spring and you will be somewhere else today mom told grandma pat what happened pat started crying over the phone i didnt want her too it made mom cry again i just want you to come back, come home i dont care if your drunk, stoned whatever, just be here again your room is empty no more of your music no more of your smell no more of you i want you tell me you love me just one time i know your my older brother, and your not supposed to but i just want to hear you say it once i want you to know that im sorry sorry for all our silly arguements sorry for all the times i made you do my chores but the thing is that i dont want ot be alone its just a mother and its just a daughter in a perfect house we need you here sam, dont you see? im not against you i have no side i dont want to choose i love you both except once, i told my friend i told her that i if i had to put my family in order of who i loved the most you would go first i saw you everyday so it was like you didnt matter but thats not true i would always tell you i hated you i told you i wanted you to go away but i was lying i dont hate you i love you i dont want you to go away i want you to stay with me you filled up the respect jar i remember the night i made that i was mad i felt like i was the mom, and you and mom were the kids but i should have told you that your obnoxious remarks to mom were really funny you dont realize how great something is until its gone until it seeps through your fingers like sand and your just doing your best to pick up the peices when you cant seem to find a single one i love you bro i miss you bro [comments] => 1 [counter] => 266 [topic] => 32 [informant] => LittleGurl_14 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
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