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Array
(
[sid] => 136392
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Waking Up For Her
[time] => 2007-08-01 05:33:58
[hometext] => Just a quick off my head one, i dont write usualy, but thought i would try this out, Love to see if i can actualy show whats in a guys heart like mine. Help me out so i can improve on these! thx
[bodytext] => Her eyes begin to open, a feeling of soft rose petals Gently press against her elegant cheeks as she stares into me, the surounding area coverd in roses, i stare into her beautiful eyes, gazing for hours as it seems, lost inside, our hearts beating as if we were one, my lips pressing against hers, kissing her ever so softly, as my hand rubs gently across her face, I tell her i love her, and that i would not trade this moment for anything in the world, to know she loves me, as i do her is to be the richest man alive, to loose this love is to die. My eyes begin to shed tears... i am truly happy, and in love.... so very much in love, may this moment last threw to the ends of time...
[comments] => 3
[counter] => 185
[topic] => 2
[informant] => SoftHeartedAB
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 4
[ratings] => 1
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => LovePoetry
)
Waking Up For Her
Contributed by
SoftHeartedAB
on
Wednesday, 1st August 2007 @ 05:33:58 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Her eyes begin to open, a feeling of soft rose petals Gently press against her elegant cheeks as she stares into me, the surounding area coverd in roses, i stare into her beautiful eyes, gazing for hours as it seems, lost inside, our hearts beating as if we were one, my lips pressing against hers, kissing her ever so softly, as my hand rubs gently across her face, I tell her i love her, and that i would not trade this moment for anything in the world, to know she loves me, as i do her is to be the richest man alive, to loose this love is to die. My eyes begin to shed tears... i am truly happy, and in love.... so very much in love, may this moment last threw to the ends of time...
Copyright ©
SoftHeartedAB
... [
2007-08-01 05:33:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Waking Up For Her
(User Rating: 1 )
by yackerz85 on
Wednesday, 1st August 2007 @ 06:12:13 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I really like this perspective from a fellow guy's point of view. Its very beautiful and descriptive. From what I can tell, it seems you wrote this on emotional impulse given the freestyle and use of ellipses. That which is straight from the heart often makes the best poetry, and I really like this one. One thing I would suggest, though, is to organize it into some semblance of stanzas and lines. It just makes it easier for the reader.
~Mark~ |
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Re: Waking Up For Her
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st August 2007 @ 09:45:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow. How refreshing it is to read a man's side of romance, (not enough of that
methinks). This is so beautiful.. to read this is to drown in a delightful pool of adoration.
(What a way to go!!)
This line really stabbed me through the heart ...
"to lose this love is to die"
just, WOW! Boy, do I know that feeling! I think anyone who has ever been in
LOVE knows it. Damn emotive, this piece. Truly stunning!
~Breezy
(something else .. I'll PM it to ya) |
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Re: Waking Up For Her
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Thursday, 2nd August 2007 @ 12:28:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow its nice to see from a guys perspective for someone .. this is very descriptive and powerful.. its a lovely write.. you should express your inner feelings through poems more often. I have a feeling you won't be dissappointed in it.
Rock on,
vampyress Jenni |
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