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Array
(
[sid] => 135386
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Childhood
[time] => 2007-06-20 05:05:34
[hometext] => this is about my life..i didnt lie about it at all
[bodytext] => being beat almost everyday waking up on the floor because they didn’t love me. Foster care can be the worst thing for a small child like I was more or less for anybody. Some in their for only a few months and others for years. Then going back home with with my mom was great either. I couldn’t see my father, I still cant to this very day I went through fazes were he was as only my sperm donor nothing more nothing less that’s all he was to me. But now as and older girl I figured out how hard My life actually was. Everyone thinks I’m Ok But I’m really not I’ve been raped sexually abused in other ways forced to do things I don’t want to do. I’ve learned my lesson now not to trust way older guys but I'll always have those flashbacks when that stuff happened Something bad happened again I got raped for the last time [I hope] this time the worst thing happened I got pregnant. But thank god I lost it. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it but now I know that I wouldn’t be in school people would make fun of me even more I never thought that would happen to me "But you should wish for the best and expect the worst" As my step-dad always tells me Everyone says I’m going to be Ok but I really don’t believe them so everyday I just tell myself: "I will get through this day like nothing has happened" [comments] => 1 [counter] => 179 [topic] => 21 [informant] => sara-beara [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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