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Array
(
[sid] => 135257
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Always the Friend, Never the Girlfriend
[time] => 2007-06-15 10:15:14
[hometext] => A poem written a long time ago that I just found :) It's cute :)
[bodytext] => I've never been "the pretty one" I blend in with a crowd I've never really achieved something Well, nothing that made me proud I guess that's why I never noticed That someone noticed me I guess he just couldn't tell How borung I must be If only he knew the truth That there's nothing more to me Nothing of interest to someone else Just personal misery He knows? He knows? Then why does he still care? Shouldn't this scare him away? Maybe it's all just a dare I knew it! I knew it! I knew it couldn't be true There's no way someone would notice me Wait, what did he just do? That can't be what just happened He lent me his hand Pulled me of the ground I just don't understand Why is he smiling? He must think I'm crazy But there's something in his eyes It's making things hazy Now he's always on my mind Something must be wrong No one has ever made me feel Like I could actually belong It's so strange for me To be able to speak my mind I wish that he weren't so perfect He's too sweet, too kind He must be hiding something No one can be this pure There must be a flaw somewhere I'm positive, I'm sure He's still talking to me Like I'm actually a friend I know this sounds odd But I hope it won't end What am I saying? I know it can't be so Everyone leaves me Eventually he'll go No, he's not like the rest He actually wants to be there He's my shoulder to cry on Helping me cope with what I can't bear Someone wants me to go to a dance I'll play his little game "My friend, my friend" he said "But I can't reveal his name" Well I know he wouldn't lie to me But who else could have noticed? I'm not exactly "Miss America" I couldn't even make the tryout list Still, someone likes me? The feeling is splendid! So what if it isn't him? Our friendship hasn't ended "Well if he asks, I'll go with him" I told my best guy friend "It's more complicated than that, he's gone that weekend." "Oh well," I thought "It's for the best" I didn't have time to worry About how I could have dressed High school started everything's new I grew up, so did he I guess all people do "How was your summer?" I asked my best friend "I spent most of it at home, But I was still sad to see it end" He replied, "Same for me But there's someone I'd like you to meet She's kind of new in town My girlfriend, isn't she sweet?" He was right, she certainly was Sweet as she could be But watching them be so close Was almost killing me I don't know why it did But it tore at my heart We were only friends I thought But it's tearing me apart I knew it all along That he would hurt me too That's why I never got too close This was enough to go through That night when we talked It didn't feel right Everything seemed wrong Like it lost all delight That's when I asked him "Who was your friend? The one that liked me last year" Silence was came from his end "What? Can't you tell me?" We're in high school now." All he said in reply was "I'm trying to figure out how" "It really can't be that difficult." I felt my anger building "You only have to say two words. Is it really that confusing?" I don't know why But I left him there He knew better than to follow me Or maybe he was just scared When I got home I realised What had angered me I was mad because he was happy But how could that be? It wasn't that he was happy It was that I didn't see The gleam that usually is in his eyes When he talks to me The gleam was gone away from me Now he gave it to her And when I tried to find someone He woudn't give me an answer After I calmed down I called him "Hey I'm sorry, " I said. "I don't know why I acted that way. Maybe there's something wrong with my head" "No," he replied "I deserved that. See I was being selfish, And I'm the one you should be mad at" I didn't respond, I couldn't So he just went on "See I've been keeping this secret from you For far, far too long." "It was me that wanted to ask you But I was always too shy I had heard you didn't feel the same So I made up that lie" "I've always felt that way," I said "But I was afraid of you. Afraid that if I got too close You'd go and leave me too." "Why would I have left?" he asked "I'm your best friend. I'm supposed to be there always, Until the bitter end." "I know that now," I sighed "But I guess I'm too late. I saw the way you looked at her. Besides, you two looked great" "I'm sorry, I really am. I never even thought..." And I almost burst into tears Because I could tell he was distraught "Don't" I said to him "I'm a big girl now. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'll get through it somehow." "After all, before you came I made it on my own Through all the other heartaches I had to go through alone." We haven't been as close since And I still care for him a lot But as long as he's happy I'll settle for what I've got She treats him well ]They're too perfect But I guess I knew it would end this way He was always worth it. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 204 [topic] => 22 [informant] => Kie-Kie [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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