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Array
(
[sid] => 135253
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => i can't keep doing this to myself
[time] => 2007-06-15 08:13:38
[hometext] => a poem...sort of...
[bodytext] => I can't just be his friend anymore Of course we aren't even that But just being near him is enough To convince me this is too tough I can't be close to him anymore It's just too hard, he's just too far I know it's been 8 years. I know I say I'm over it But still, I can't help but cry I really did try But I have to give up And realize I'm outta luck Silly girl...foolish girl... I should have known I couldn't do it Why? Why did I put myself through it? I'm standing all alone With no one I can call my own I am watching him so fondly I remember some silly flashbacks And the tears start coming back So close...I was so close... I just wasn't good enough... Not for him, and not for you... He does those little things That make me forget I can't love you And cause this heartache all over again. I'm over you, I truely am I've moved on to another man Yet still you make me hurt Being close to you is poison Every little thing you do, Makes me want to be with you Don't you understand what you're doing to me? I know you don't mean to I know you don't intend to But you affect me... In a way I don't want you to. It hurts me...like poking your bruises... You being near, only pushes on the bruise you left on my heart. I tried so hard to deal with the pain And stay your friend...more or less But I see now, you don't want that either... And It's too painful for me. Let's just say we tried and move on It's better than this anyday I wish I could get rid of the memories Make myself believe the lies I tell myself Say the past never happened, and that all the pain is just a dream But then I see you and I can't deny I felt that way, I feel that way I wish I could just make it go away This pain I feel is so intense, I just can't stop it I lie to myself every day, saying 'you're over him, its okay!' But it isn't okay, you're still here, still you... You cannot change, I don't want you to But I can't change either, don't ask me to I like who I like, and who I like is you I know, it bugs me too Just be happy you're your character Because you don't feel the pain You don't feel the hurt But I'd rather it be me bearing it, any day... Because I don't want any hurt to befall you. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 146 [topic] => 48 [informant] => desolantdreamer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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