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Array ( [sid] => 134797 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Ten Million Miles Away [time] => 2007-05-30 07:30:42 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Caught between what I know to be right and what I desire

free minds destined to think without constraints

control withers under the weight

forward leaps in an upward bounce

to see me for what I am, a man, in love, with you, understand…

Complicated material
Intermingle-
The circle is asymmetrical
Rain fall
A rushed trickle
Fingers crawl
A passionate tickle
A kiss
A change of mood
Subdued
Let go
Fickle
Acting despicable
Evil
Without moral
Inseparable from the shackles
Bondage entangles
Freedom inaccessible
Punishable by death
Permissible only for short spurts
It hurts
Reemerged
Resurged
Researched and rehearsed
then appropriately reversed
Submerged, beneath
Held down with belief
Tide up when conceived
Faith and its symbols
Concentrate on the dot as it trembles
Brings the world to its knees

Pieces left to assemble

Places I have never been

Calling me home…
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 391 [topic] => 43 [informant] => mangos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 16 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Ten Million Miles Away

Contributed by mangos on Wednesday, 30th May 2007 @ 07:30:42 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

Caught between what I know to be right and what I desire

free minds destined to think without constraints

control withers under the weight

forward leaps in an upward bounce

to see me for what I am, a man, in love, with you, understand…

Complicated material
Intermingle-
The circle is asymmetrical
Rain fall
A rushed trickle
Fingers crawl
A passionate tickle
A kiss
A change of mood
Subdued
Let go
Fickle
Acting despicable
Evil
Without moral
Inseparable from the shackles
Bondage entangles
Freedom inaccessible
Punishable by death
Permissible only for short spurts
It hurts
Reemerged
Resurged
Researched and rehearsed
then appropriately reversed
Submerged, beneath
Held down with belief
Tide up when conceived
Faith and its symbols
Concentrate on the dot as it trembles
Brings the world to its knees

Pieces left to assemble

Places I have never been

Calling me home…

Copyright Â© mangos ... [ 2007-05-30 07:30:42]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Ten Million Miles Away (User Rating: 1 )
by 5MinutePoet on Wednesday, 30th May 2007 @ 08:04:46 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i like the fast style. the bullet point method of poetry you have used here and tend to use it a lot for free forming myself, however,l here comes the constructive criticism. It's all a bit messy, nice idea though even a random army needs uniform

Re: Ten Million Miles Away (User Rating: 1 )
by brew on Wednesday, 30th May 2007 @ 12:10:51 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Its abstract.......which can conform to many meanings.....its lost......its hope.......its want..its there......but not. Loved it..made one seek and find..and if a heart you can find alot. Great job.

Brew~

Re: Ten Million Miles Away (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Thursday, 31st May 2007 @ 02:22:16 AM AEST
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a very powerful emotional piece.. it conveys quite a few messeges.. a very well penned piece

Vampyress Jenni

Re: Ten Million Miles Away (User Rating: 1 )
by saralind21 on Friday, 1st June 2007 @ 08:27:57 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I like this poem a lot. Especially the end...
"Pieces left to assemble

Places I have never been

Calling me home…"

I can relate.

Re: Ten Million Miles Away (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 01:28:56 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

"...And suddenly I feel miles and miles from home..." :)

Love the rush of emotion that seemed to tear through each line... Well presented!

~Scorp.

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