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Array ( [sid] => 133979 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => down [time] => 2007-05-01 00:13:26 [hometext] => Know the pain [bodytext] => Darkened
hollowed
empty
hole
I'm down here
if you're looking
i can't really recognize
me
anymore
yellowed light
filtered
in shadows
hiding
the truth
sometimes
so far down
will you find me
in time
or is it
just a waste
getting
too deep
and my body tires
so like your eyes
this dark water
just want to
glide
crying
weeping
so many tears
will i drown
in my own
can you hear me
down here
i'm screaming
or i was
i lost my voice
two days ago
i think
time is so strange here
i just wanted
to hide
but it's so high
the walls
are so high
my eyes
are so tired
waiting to see
your face
looking down
down at me
you're not coming
though
are you
can i sleep now
wrapped in memories
a burning cold
fragment dreams
of a love you whispered
of a love i screamed
i'll still look for you
in my final sleep [comments] => 7 [counter] => 243 [topic] => 75 [informant] => stitches [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )

down

Contributed by stitches on Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 12:13:26 AM in AEST
Topic: anguished

Darkened
hollowed
empty
hole
I'm down here
if you're looking
i can't really recognize
me
anymore
yellowed light
filtered
in shadows
hiding
the truth
sometimes
so far down
will you find me
in time
or is it
just a waste
getting
too deep
and my body tires
so like your eyes
this dark water
just want to
glide
crying
weeping
so many tears
will i drown
in my own
can you hear me
down here
i'm screaming
or i was
i lost my voice
two days ago
i think
time is so strange here
i just wanted
to hide
but it's so high
the walls
are so high
my eyes
are so tired
waiting to see
your face
looking down
down at me
you're not coming
though
are you
can i sleep now
wrapped in memories
a burning cold
fragment dreams
of a love you whispered
of a love i screamed
i'll still look for you
in my final sleep

Copyright © stitches ... [ 2007-05-01 00:13:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: down (User Rating: 1 )
by The_Unknown on Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 12:54:31 AM AEST
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This is sad, but good.

Re: down (User Rating: 1 )
by Music on Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 01:01:03 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

My final sleep, yes thats when we will be with the ones we love. Sad but hopeful.
Music

Re: down (User Rating: 1 )
by brownsugar8272 on Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 02:08:53 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

beautiful I'm glad I'm not alone I too have loved and lost and waited on it to find me you are very deep good work

Re: down (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 03:26:01 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

a very powerful painful write.. deep from the soul. beautifully written but so sad. don't wait forever for a lost love to return. you will find another who will love you the same . beautiful write

vampyress jenni

Re: down (User Rating: 1 )
by scrivonel on Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 09:59:57 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Nice poem. I like how it's structured also.

Re: down (User Rating: 1 )
by Naomi on Monday, 7th May 2007 @ 02:28:15 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Beautiful poem, beautifully written. So very sad. Do not wait for lost love to return, if it is worthy it will find you.

Take Care
Naomi

Re: down (User Rating: 1 )
by Cancer on Sunday, 10th June 2007 @ 03:24:59 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i like it, but not as much as some of yours' that i've read. you work well with fragmentation. berry skittles.

51

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