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Array ( [sid] => 133776 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Living Death [time] => 2007-04-24 10:57:58 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Standing in the trees where a boy once stood
Theres a man in the wood eternaly Misunderstood

So narrow his emotional range
Time ticks by but he can only sigh
As nothing will ever change

He tries to ponder but his mind will forever wander
Thoughts of death circle his head
His biggest fear is to never be dead

Its never been heard but has often been said
Its better to die than to live forever in dread

When he finnally awoke he could only scream
As he realized life was only a dream
Hed been in a coma since age thirteen
He could move not a leg nor an arm
Kept in a hospital safe from all harm
He wanted once more only to die
But once again he could only sigh

[comments] => 1 [counter] => 207 [topic] => 39 [informant] => karl_schmidt87 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )

Living Death

Contributed by karl_schmidt87 on Tuesday, 24th April 2007 @ 10:57:58 AM in AEST
Topic: Grief

Standing in the trees where a boy once stood
Theres a man in the wood eternaly Misunderstood

So narrow his emotional range
Time ticks by but he can only sigh
As nothing will ever change

He tries to ponder but his mind will forever wander
Thoughts of death circle his head
His biggest fear is to never be dead

Its never been heard but has often been said
Its better to die than to live forever in dread

When he finnally awoke he could only scream
As he realized life was only a dream
Hed been in a coma since age thirteen
He could move not a leg nor an arm
Kept in a hospital safe from all harm
He wanted once more only to die
But once again he could only sigh

Copyright © karl_schmidt87 ... [ 2007-04-24 10:57:58]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Living Death (User Rating: 1 )
by Amicus on Tuesday, 24th April 2007 @ 11:13:48 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

hey,
i thought it was pretty good, it just needs spell check, and i thought you were going a little too specific when you said thirteen, but you tied it up enough with the sigh. I think it would have been overall better if you hadnt had the extra paragraph and instead written another about living dead. I dont mean this in a bad way, i think it just would have made it a better poem.

Keep writing,
Dein Amicus

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