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Array
(
[sid] => 133737
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => God-where are you
[time] => 2007-04-22 22:55:35
[hometext] => this poem is the way i feel about God sometimes.
[bodytext] => God – where are you? God, I’ve been calling you, when will you finally listen, I’m lost in my life, I know there’s something missing. I’ve been searching for answers that no one can provide, what will it take for You to finally decide, to hear my cries, which gets worse by the week, attaining Islamic knowledge is what I try to seek. You say you are close to a servant, who calls Your Name, but I’ve called you many times, it’s getting kind of lame. I’ve cried my heart out to You, but nothing changed, so when will you give me something better in exchange. Allah, You made me and gave me eyes, ears and a mouth, but did I ever really thank you, No! , all I do is shout. You took me out of darkness when my actions weren’t straight, but that didn’t stop me from expressing explicit hate. No matter what you give me, I always find reasons to complain, whether its’ sunny, cold, or if it starts to rain. When will I learn to be content with what you pre-ordained, but instead I corrupt my soul, feeling insane. How much more gifts must You give me before I start to love, The One who made me, the One who is above. You have 99 beautiful names, that I’m ignorant of until today, if You grant me my wishes, I will repeat them night and day. I’m not asking for much, so I’m begging for some money to live, so I can take care of myself, and I promise I’ll start to give. Why must you test me so much, will I ever get some rest, to live life with comfort, instead to always perform my best? My best ain’t good enough, so sue me if I fail, yet many times I was in trouble, feeling very pail. But that didn’t stop You from showering me with Your Grace, but I still desired the world, it’s pleasure I would chase. O Allah, why can’t I see You, why must you hide from us everyday, it would elevate my iman much higher, if I can see your face today. You say You want the best for me, but I’m in a tight situation, so I’m all out of hope, I’m begging you in desperation. How can I see the light of Your Glory, when I’m guilty of sins too great, I hate confessing my heart out, it’s probably too late, to get one more chance, to coordinate my life for the good, yet most of the time, I was misunderstood. I don’t want to remain in darkness, are you there or do I got to climb a ladder to heaven, but if I arrive at the gate, will you kick me out of the seven, the seven wonderful doors to eternal bliss of elation, before my times runs out with no more duration. I confess that I’m a hypocrite, so judge me not quickly for I agree, that I refuse to be loyal as a grateful servant should be. Many times my brain was dreadful from pondering what lies for me up ahead, and it’s sad to say Your Glorious book I never read. I treat the prayer as a burden for it doesn’t making me wealthier, and my stress has sky rocketed, which hasn’t made me any healthier. I give more time to the material world then I ever did for Islam, which always made me trapped in a jam. I want to know, are You really hearing my complaints, even though I don’t behave like a saint. My guiltiness is increasing; my heart feels covered with black spots, but pretty soon you’ll take me to hell where I’ll rot. Why have you created me, I was a failure all my life, sometimes I felt like stabbed with a knife. I can’t help complaining, being content is a hard task, and sometimes I feel so decrepit, so I put on a mask; a mask to cover the expression on my face, so people don’t stare at me, as I start to pace. I hate being noticed by others, I feel threatened by their existence, so I’m trying to survive keeping myself at a distance. I have more complaints, but I need more time to plead my case, so don’t turn away, just give me more space. I can’t stay happy for more than a day without getting some affliction, so how can You expect me to follow so many restrictions, when I feel you will write me an eviction, because of all my major convictions, You’ll put me out of extinction, I should try to stay on the right direction. II hear Your Voice, do You have something to tell me, okay, I’ll shut up and listen, before You Expel me. (God Talking to Me) Okay My slave, listen loud and clear, before I instill in you a sense of fear. How can you expect me to respond to your cries, when you continually say big lies? Was I supposed to let you off the hook, after everything you broke and things you took. Was I supposed to forget all the times you drove your parents crazy, when you kept insisting that you were lazy. Was I supposed to excuse you for treating Christians very mean, when you had a contract to represent My Beautiful deen. What about all the lies, and many people you made cry, while many others you prayed they die, yet you still question why, - I must punish you and make you feel some pain, but if you felt it in hell, you’ll be inhumane. How many more times must you curse, as your life gets worse, instead of calling on Me at night, rather than always fight? My slave, how rich must you be before you become content, because if you never acquire wealth, it probably wasn’t meant. When will you learn to admire the earth, rather than pollute it by throwing dirt, in its water and on the ground, when no one is around, yet you wonder why I leave you astray, because for your sins you must pay? Did you think the prophets I sent were living at ease, rather most of the time they were on their knees, praying to Me out of gratitude, they were truly sincere, they obeyed My commandments, and My teachings they would adhere. Muhammad (S) was called the worst names, yet he never resorted to violence, but you get so impatient, you never once were silent. It’s time to acknowledge that My heaven is not free, for you to get there, you must struggle for Me, Cause this is the way I wanted my slaves to be. Allah, You are correct, now I understand Your plan somehow, from this day forward, I will make a vow, to uphold the contract I have with You, reform my life for the better. Your heaven ain’t free, it’s earned through hardships and trials, to get their safely, you must travel many miles, in search of knowledge that will benefit you forever, I was too attached to this world of glitter, never really sat down and deeply considered, that my actions are no excuse to feel very bitter, I guess it’s disrespectful when I litter, so my thoughts of holding grudges against people have got to be replaced, with a loving disposition-which would help me chase, the exemplified character that would make people give me the respect I deserve, therefore-I have to try to not get on people’s nerve, my conscious must remain alert, of Gods commands and prohibitions, for this life of luxury wasn’t meant for true believers, it’s nothing but a deceiver. I realize my intentions were bad many times, and many times more they were worse for making crimes, will I ever learn to control my mouth, or constantly find things from people to talk about, I must try to be devout. Therefore- I turn to You in humility, and all I want is for You to be pleased with me, Allahu Akbar. By: Jawdeh WazWAz jawdeh.wazwaz@gmail.com [comments] => 0 [counter] => 192 [topic] => 11 [informant] => jawdeh [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ChristianPoetry )
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