Your Poetry Dot Com

Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!

Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+

Custom Search


Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	29-May 16:55:35 AEST

Menu

· Our eBay Store

· Error Submit

Poetry

· Submit Poetry

· Least Read Poems

· Members Listing

· Old Site Post 2001

· Old Site Pre 2001

· Poetry Archive

· Public Domain Poetry

Stories

· Stories (NEW ! )

· Submit Story

· Story Topics

· Stories Archive

· Story Search

Community

· Our Poetry Forums

· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

Site Help

· FAQ

· Feedback

Members Areas

· Your Account

· Members Journals

· Premium Sign-Up

Premium Section

· Special Section

· Premium Poems

· Premium Submit

· Premium Search

· Premium Archive

· Premium Topics

Fun & Games

· Jokes

· Bubble Puzzle

· Cross Word Easy

· Word Hunt

Reference

· Dictionary (Rhyming)

· Site Updates

· Special Content

Search

Top

Help This Site

· Donations

Others

· Moderators

Our Other Sites

· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

Social

Array ( [sid] => 133469 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Once African [time] => 2007-04-13 03:34:03 [hometext] => comments please thanks will comment back [bodytext] => Once African

Once an african
Brought here
To amarica
Made someone we dident want to be
Forced, and controlled
Lifes changed
Such a disease
Of cold sound
The swarming
The heat
The beating
The devine work
Suffering from place to place
Named
And shoved into a den
Diffrence
To hear the moans
And aches
Of these grown men and women
Changed into
Someone new

African amarican [comments] => 2 [counter] => 231 [topic] => 21 [informant] => BEE [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )

Once African

Contributed by BEE on Friday, 13th April 2007 @ 03:34:03 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

Once African

Once an african
Brought here
To amarica
Made someone we dident want to be
Forced, and controlled
Lifes changed
Such a disease
Of cold sound
The swarming
The heat
The beating
The devine work
Suffering from place to place
Named
And shoved into a den
Diffrence
To hear the moans
And aches
Of these grown men and women
Changed into
Someone new

African amarican

Copyright © BEE ... [ 2007-04-13 03:34:03]
(Date/Time posted on site)

Advertisments:

Previous Posted Poem | | Next Posted Poem

Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more

All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.

Re: Once African (User Rating: 1 )
by Crow on Friday, 13th April 2007 @ 08:21:47 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hi Bee
this is a very good write, and read.
glad I stopped by. Vincent

Re: Once African (User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 11:36:01 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You are reaching here, to make an important point, but it almost feels like you rushed it. When I read "the beating", i get a general negative feeling of sympathy towards the person being beaten. If you said "the snap of the whip as it flayed the backs of countless niggers, trying to survive", i would care much more deeply for them. I know what "heat" feels like, but when i read "the thick, dry air that turns sweat into salt and dust", i can feel how hard it is to be working in the field during the summer afternoons.

Also, I'd like to see mention of the civil rights movement. Blacks weren't suddenly accepted by whites after abolition. It took another hundred years of fighting just to end segregation. Though, for real strength of voice, do this without mentioning Dr. King's name.

Finally, your spelling says one of two things about this poem: Either it was written so as to suggest that it should be memorized, rather than read, following the oral tradition of black slaves, and that the people who did follow oral tradition would not have been able to read or write, and so would probably have made several spelling errors in writing it down, or this poem simply wasn't spell-checked before it got posted. If this is a link to the oral tradition, then you're absolutely genius. I love it. I would only ask that you included some more rhymes, a more steady meter, or maybe even some call-and-response stuff so that it becomes easier to memorize, like the old slave spirituals were. If the poem simply wasn't proofread, let me help you. America, didn't, lives, divine, difference, American.

Keep writing. I like the grandeur that this poem is reaching for and hopefully one day, you'll catch it.

Butterat Zool.

While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com