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A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
Contributed by
Dom
on
Wednesday, 11th April 2007 @ 01:23:18 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
He isn’t playing this for me.
How much longer can I fool myself?
I know I should just pack my bags and leave.
Concentrating on the notes, he does not see
The weight I’m shedding with my tears,
He isn’t playing this for me.
He’s chipping at my heart with no reprieve,
For his own, when it was broken, never healed.
I know I should just pack my bags and leave.
If I transformed into Marilyn, or Kylie,
Bleached my hair and flirted with the men,
Still he wouldn’t play this song for me.
In this smoky half-light I can just about deceive
Myself, perhaps he smiles not for her, but me.
No, I really should just pack my bags and leave.
I married him, how was I so naïve
To think I could replace her in his heart?
He wasn’t playing the song for me,
I kiss him goodnight once before I leave.
Author's note: this is not an autobiographical poem, but it is also not fictional
Copyright ©
Dom
... [
2007-04-11 01:23:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by kye on
Wednesday, 11th April 2007 @ 08:10:24 AM AEST
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Oh my! I have so many thoughts. You take the reader to a place that feels like an emotional ride - feeling twisted inside, yearning and that feeling of knowing that you can love someone completely but you cannot make them return love in kind.
I was deeply touched by this poem and I wanted to quote more than one stanza.
I can't help but wonder if music is played from the heart - would another know that it wasn't being played for them? I believe they would know.
You write very well and i'm really glad I had the opportunity to read your latest.
Kye |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by FRANCO on
Wednesday, 11th April 2007 @ 02:14:07 PM AEST
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My friend your poem also reflects another aspect of love; if I am not mistaken, love is a tight rope walk one tend to get negative illusions, which he / she, has to over come - if one is in a harry to pack the bags for a drop of a hat that could be a disastrous one last goodnight kiss for ever.
It is a wonderful poem from a women's point of view.
FRANCO. |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th April 2007 @ 09:15:23 PM AEST
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Very well done. The repitition of the lines is a nice blend and adds to the rhythmn.
So emotive as well...... |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ka_ching234 on
Thursday, 12th April 2007 @ 05:32:28 AM AEST
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Wow, I really loved your poem. It was almost like a movie. I could visualize what was happening. I also agree with Jecks about the repitition; it really tied everything together.
-Ravyn |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Thursday, 12th April 2007 @ 08:09:51 AM AEST
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Beautifully penned. Thank you for sharing.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Thursday, 12th April 2007 @ 11:09:21 AM AEST
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Dom~
I too, had alot of thoughts after reading this.
The journey you take your reader on is so emotional. A deep, emotive and touching write. Written very well. An excellent post Dom~
Thanks for sharing it with us.
*hugs*
Sue M |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by myheartsvoice on
Friday, 13th April 2007 @ 12:21:43 AM AEST
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A fascinating murel of love's interlocking emotions. Excellent write and style of presentation.
Ben |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Friday, 13th April 2007 @ 03:00:59 AM AEST
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Oh, I like this. I very muchly do. I may not know or understand the people you present, but I do get the characters. I can relate to this, see it, I have been there. Thing is... and this is what is so cool about this piece, we as readers are often times left to infer, and interpret the words by relating them to our own life experiences... and I know I am supposed to feel empathy for her... yet I am more capable of seeing this from his view. I am exerscizing
much restraint by not rolling off into a ranting diatribe to defend him. That is poetic.
Nazmythian ~ |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Clarity_Rising on
Sunday, 15th April 2007 @ 02:54:23 AM AEST
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Love is such a fickle thing. I think
you capture regret and pain precisely
in this poem. Composed as a story,
you allow the reader to have some
insight on how the marriage blossomed
and died. Your character shows maturity
and understanding that is unprecedented
for any person at any age. I wish I had your
strength. Great write, and I hope the tides
will change for you.
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 16th April 2007 @ 05:24:36 AM AEST
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Love can convince us to do so many irrational things, Dom.
You have established, perfectly, the dual emotion found within the
realization when the veil is lifted and we truly see for the first time.
True, it can be excruciatingly painful, but think how wonderful our
lives become, (not to mention more fulfilled), when we accept
the truths about life and love. I actually feel sometimes, in
spite of all the sorrow and pain, that it is quite liberating.
Excellent post. Very thought provoking.
~Breezy
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 16th April 2007 @ 06:39:40 AM AEST
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beautifully written, it flows and comes full circle,
love n' hugs nessa |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 20th April 2007 @ 12:44:05 PM AEST
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| be it fact or fiction, its still bloody good, fantastic write from a fantastic writer..Eddy |
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Re: A Love Song and a Broken Marriage
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Wednesday, 6th June 2007 @ 04:42:33 AM AEST
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| A song that has been sung in my heart and the painful vibration still reminds me how fragile love and living can be. I loved this piece and yes remember the song.....excellent. |
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